The Queen's Blog

Hijacked!!!

2011-03-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

It has taken me months to solve a hijack problem here on my blog. I have been unable to post as well as have been receiving THOUSANDS of emails directed from the blog to my personal email that are all spam or advertising.

I will be suspending this account.

I'll let you all know when I have a new one on a safer server.

Adios muchachas!

I'm unbalanced. A bit unsteady on my feet.

2011-01-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

My family has had an injury this week - a close call that could have been oh so much worse, as painful as it is. My beloved granddaughter fell down the cellar stairs and broke both wrists. The mailbox has been full every day. People sent cards; called; emailed; baked her cookies and came to play. A stuffed pink flamingo arrived in the mail. A bouquet of pink carnations was delivered in a snowstorm.

I went to an amazing farmers' market convention Friday - yes, the same convention I was on the way to last year when I totaled my car, a fact that I OBSESSED about all week, making myself CRAZY about driving back there again - but I got there safely and spent hours in the company of passionate, dedicated, wonderful people who spend their lives in the dirt to feed us.

And tonight I went to a public supper and auction for a friend's husband, who is suffering through pancreatic cancer. More than 200 people showed up, dropping $20 bills they couldn't afford into a barrel and then eating soggy spaghetti and overdressed salad, swaying to the music of a ukulele band playing "Stand By Me" and "You've Got a Friend."

I am overwhelmed with the kindness that has been revealed to me this week.
I am overwhelmed by the passion that Maine's farmers have to provide safe, quality food.
I am overwhelmed with the outpouring of an ENTIRE county to help one of its own.

It would be easy to say that all is right with the world. That it is all apple pie and Cheerios and fine red wine.
But there has to be balance, it seems. The pendulum must swing in both directions for it to work at all - some sort of idiotic rule of nature. We all seem to shout "That's not fair!" when the deck is stacked against us, but not when it is stacked in our favor...

And so today I wrote a story about a 55-year-old woman, dearly loved by her community, that fell down her stairs and died.
And a man out for an afternoon snowmobile ride hit a moose and was killed.
And as I sit here, the scanner is squawking about a house fire a few towns over.
And Egypt has gone berserk.

So much is out of our control - waves of bad news that can knock us down. A friend wrote today "We are such fragile vessels."
Indeed.
Yet, we are vessels that share what we contain.
We enrich others lives when our owns are lacking.
We give because we want to, not because we have to.
We share.
We love.
We shovel our neighbors' driveways and carry pies to a public supper and fix the wheel on the child's bike and send flowers and a stuffed snowman to a suffering little girl. We line up to donate blood and drop our change in all the canisters sitting by every cash register. We bring supper to a shut-in, knit a blanket for a cold child, shop at our neighbor's stores even when it is inconvenient and more expensive.
We are good and we deserve good.

Tonight I will go to sleep knowing that there will be more bad things to write about tomorrow, another tragedy to report. I am a realist. But I will not lay sleepless in worry because I believe in us and I have hope. I know hope because it was revealed to me this week.
For me, the glass is more than half full. Tonight I feel it brimming over and I'm thankful.

The ice cream on the pie!

2011-01-10T04:59:00.000-08:00

Today I head off to the Maine Agricultural Trades Show at Augusta - I always feel like this is dessert for many of the farming stories I write throughout the year.
It's a big convention center filled with everything from homemade sausage vendors to milking machines, huge tractors, beekeeping supplies, and every farming agency you can imagine.
The event is showcased by dozens of workshops held over the three days that deal with issues farmers are facing - marketing, pests, certification, networking.

One group - Food for Maine's Future - is a bit of an extreme, alternative group, but they have come up with a spectacular plan. They are presenting our new governor with a list of changes that are required to keep the small family farms that populate Maine going and growing.

They have suggested:
* Enact an immediate moratorium on farm foreclosures.
*Conduct an inquiry into how corporate concentration and free trade has impacted Maine farmers.
*Provide assurances that Maine farms, cottage-scale food processors and cooperative food buying clubs will not be subjected to the harsh law enforcement tactics being used in other parts of the U.S.

As for the last one, many states, including Maine, have been cracking down on the sale of raw milk. Raw milk sales are illegal in many states, but they are legal here in Maine. However, some inspectors have gotten a bit extreme in their desire to regulate and test raw milk. Not in Maine, but in other states, people have been held at gunpoint when their food was seized for testing.
This does not concern me in Maine. If a producer is a clean producer, making good milk, he/she has nothing to fear when the inspectors come around. Enough said.

The other two issues, I believe, are real and serious. Many large producers, for example General Mills and Smithfield, are able to leverage government programs that allow them to buy inputs such as wheat or corn, below the cost of production. Smithfield has been particularly shrewd in using NAFTA terms to move much of its production out of the country, to Mexico and Germany.
All of this, as FMF states "undercuts Maine producers who have higher standards and charge the true cost of their food."

My answer? Buy local whenever possible. Don't purchase products from companies whose business practices are suspect or you personally have researched and found unacceptable. Simplify what we buy. Don't expect peaches in January - be real in the seasonal expectations you want. When food/fresh veggies are plentiful in the summer, can or freeze the bounty. You can buy in bulk at all farmers' markets and buying clubs when the veggie is at its premium.

It all comes down to personal choices. What is best for you? What is best for your family? And what can you afford?

Oh help, help, help, help, help.

2011-01-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

I've done either an incredibly brave thing or a very stupid thing - depending on which side of the issue you stand.
Today, while visiting Facebook, one of my "friends," who is actually a service-provider and I don't know her well, described her child's classmate as "the colored child."

The COLORED child. I actually got nauseous. What is this - 1965? Are we whipping out the fire hoses Thursday afternoon? Are we getting ready to hang signs up over the water coolers again?
In my mind, COLORED is a racial slur. An ethnic insult. A polite way to cover the word nigger.
With all the black host students who have lived in my home over the past decades, you can imagine we have had plenty of deep, meaningful discussions about the power of words.

I stood in my driveway as a child and sing-songed "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me." But that is such a lie - scientists have found that just hearing sentences about elderly people led research subjects to walk more slowly. In other research, individuals read words of 'loving kindness' showed increases in self-compassion, improved mood, and reduced anxiety.

But today, it was damn hard to look prejudice in the face.

And so I was faced with a choice. I could have skipped on down to any other message, watched a video, gone back to writing, and ignored the remark.
Or I could do what I believed was right and take a stand.

I confronted. I sent her a short message that said I found her choice of a racial slur unacceptable and could no longer be her friend. I then "un-friended" her.

I'll admit - it was hard to be a bit confrontational. Hard to call someone out like that.
And it had ramifications.
Several of her friends and relatives began bombarding me with FB messages.
Her husband telephoned me.

I asked him where I was supposed to draw the line? Should I get upset if my friend's child is called a faggot? How about when my son is called a dago or my daughter a squaw? Do I accept kike or queer or cracker or honkey? Do I only react when a label is pasted on someone I know? Or someone I love?

Advise me, dear friends. I'm not feeling like a brave activist tonight - in fact, these people have me feeling like I've done something wrong.

Why don't the tiny, hollow bones of birds freeze in the winter time?

2011-01-03T12:43:00.000-08:00

Or - Do dogs get headaches?
I have been driving myself crazy with these questions all day.

What the hell did we ever do before Google?
Well, I often asked my grandma and she didn't have too many answers - or any that actually made sense.
I remember the giant 12-inch thick DICTIONARY at my house, which was mostly used when babies came to visit to allow them to be tall enough to sit at the dinner table with us. If they were really little, we could always grab a couple of Collier's Encyclopedias.

Google has made it possible for every tidbit of information that we would ever want - not need, mind you - to be reached in a nano-second.

A friend told me when I asked someone about this Saturday that before Google "We walked around stupid."

I like to think it was uneducated but I really think she was a bit right. How often did we not check, research, look into something because it would have been a cumbersome process? And so that question would go unanswered. And 35 years later, when someone asks you how to blanche almonds... see? You don't know! What else did we fail to know? Could there have been information out there that would have changed each of our lives, set us on a different path, given us options (am I projecting too much here?)

And look beyond Google's educational value.
We can watch penguins dance, grown men make fools of themselves by trying out their sons' skateboards, our grandchildren proposing to their prospective brides, document and keep the sounds of our children's first words, find out how much shipping would be on a full-size leather ottoman, and reunite with lost loves. Wait - scratch that last one. As some of my friends remember, that didn't work out too well...

So I think it would be stupid to not get rid of a little stupid. I've thought about this all day and I can't really see a downside to this landslide of available information. I'm going to turn into a Googling Fool, a G-Maniac. I'm gonna Google this willy-nilly and Google that madcap. I'm going to look up cherry vanilla cake recipes and classmates from 1966. I'm going to check the words to Stairway to Heaven. I'm watching marching bands take the field, cats sing dance tunes, and listing which plants will grow best in my shady yard.
And I'm finding out why birds don't freeze and if dogs get headaches.

Hold on there - it only takes .00034 seconds.
And, voila!

Birds actually use several tricks to keep their legs from freezing. First they can stand on one leg and pull the other up under their feathers when one leg starts getting too cold. And if it gets really cold, they can squat to cover both legs with breast feathers. If you see a bird doing this, they may be getting uncomfortably cold legs.

And yes, scientists believe that dogs get headaches. But apparently not enough - have you heard about the exploding pet population???

So there I was, enjoying Christmas.

2011-01-02T05:18:00.000-08:00

When along came "THE BUG."
First it struck my granddaughter.
Then my daughter.
Then me.
Then my son in law.
Then my daughter's friend's mother.

Well, you get the idea.

Five days later, I crawled up off the bathroom floor and headed off to work.
And there - on the shores of Passamaquoddy Bay, where Maine kisses the Atlantic Ocean and if you had radar vision you could see Europe - is where I found Molly, Suzie and Donna. They also seemed a bit surprised to find themselves there.

Three old ladies, they called themselves.
On just two days' notice, they flew 15 hours from Seattle to watch the sun rise over Eastport, the country's easternmost city.
They are 62 to 70. They've watched husbands die, lost their parents, worked entire careers and retired, and one day about five years ago, they took a good look at each other. They saw three old ladies. Gray hair. Sweet wrinkled faces. Bodies that sag into themselves. And they said What The Hell Are We Waiting For?

And so they hit the road - together.
They've been swimming with the dolphins in the Bahamas.
Flew by bush plane into a remote village in Alaska, seeking long-gone gold mining relatives's graves and found them.
Watched humpbacks breaching in the cold Pacific and sat in a yurt in minus 30 degree weather waiting for the Northern Lights - which didn't show up.
They've experienced the Ernest Hemmingway Look Alike Contest and all the rowdiness that entails at Key West.
They've seen volcanoes at Maui.
At Eastport, they dove up the elbows in their first Maine lobster dinner while tipping Coronas.
They put on silly pointed party hats and watched a four foot sardine fly from a building at midnight.
And they stood together the next morning overlooking the ocean and watched the first sunrise of the year, and pondered their own insignificance.

Through it all, they told me, they have one goal: to find out what makes each place they visit individual, what the heart of the place is. All along their travels, they stop and talk to all the people. They don't just stand at the rim of a canyon, snap a photo and sigh. They turn to the person next to them on the ridge, in the train, at the tourist shop, and begin a conversation. A dialogue about life. They ask. And then they listen.
And by engaging with those around them, they learn. They learn about the place they are in, about new places, about dreams, about love, about loss, about all the good bad and ugly details that make this a life. And through this process, they have learned the most about themselves.

And isn't this just what we all want? To get to the heart of a place, a person, the matter? And while we making that trip, to get to even the most deep part of ourselves?
The rock in the bottom of the stew of our lives is always the question "Who am I?" and the quest is always to find the answer.

So here's a New Year's toast to Molly, Suzie and Donna - they have truly embraced the premise that life is REALLY all about the journey and are willing to step out on that ledge and leap.
Where next? I asked them. "We have no idea," they answered, with a hearty laugh. They seem to laugh alot, these three.

Let's start our own journey of discovery this year. Let's look a little deeper, be a bit more reflective, and - along the way - have a grand adventure or two. I for one am more than ready.
Who else is coming along?

Well, it's a happy new year, isn't it?

2011-01-01T06:57:00.001-08:00

I'm not making any resolutions - I fail miserably at that - but small promises to myself. One of them includes adopting a healthier lifestyle.....Oh, I eat healthily. I'm not a big sweets eater and junk food is to a minimum. My problem is quantity. I just can't stop....being sick for a week with the stomach flu has given me an edge on that! What a great diet...I still can't look at food. Ginger ale, tea and some bits of bread are all I can manage.

So when I was falling asleep last night (or was that early this morning?) I was reflecting on what the people of 1911 would think of us, here at the cusp of 2011. You know, I was sort of assessing our lifestyle choices.
What would they think of our constant cell phone chatter - everywhere at anytime?
What would their thoughts be on how addicted we have become to our computers, our social networks, our email communication?
And how about instant food? From soups in a can to frozen mashed potatoes, when I see the array in the grocery store, it is hard to believe that anyone cooks from real, raw, healthy food anymore.

So here are some of my goals:
Turn my cell phone off when I am not working.
Write at least one letter a week to someone that would have received a quick email.
Give up all prepared food. (except Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee, of course.)
Carry no tales, share no gossip, speak not a word of ill will - even if it IS true - about anyone.
Be more spontaneous - say yes instead of a quick no to new adventures and offerings.
Renew my promise to work 37.5 hours a week and no more. (unless I get paid for it.)
Make one new friend a week, at least.
Swim every day.
Meditate.

I can't promise to keep these goals - but I do promise to try. If I fail, I'll start again, and that is part of this too - accepting my mistakes and forgiving myself for them so I can move on.

What about you?

My New Year's resolution is to return to writing my blog with a vengeance!

2010-12-16T08:15:00.001-08:00

I have been away solving problems: health, family, snot and vomit - you know, the usual stuff.

But baby I am back!
I promise a new look and enthusiasm for 2011. There will be stories, photos, pathos, maybe a bit of humor, but always a truthfulness.

See you faithful followers then!!!
Happy solstice, merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, Kwanza and New Year!

this is harder than I thought!

2010-10-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

I'm having a bit of a hard time this week with gratitude.
So today I will only say that I'm grateful for the delicious cornbread served at lunch.

That's all.

gratitude, continued.

2010-10-06T11:49:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful for the poor man from DishTV that has been up and down on my roof, in and out of my livingroom, emptied every single tool and receiver out of his truck, and is still here trying to install Dish service.

He got here at 7 a.m. It is now ten minutes to three.

The poor dude.

The glass is half full.

2010-10-05T12:06:00.000-07:00

Today I interviewed a lovely woman who is dedicating her life to positivity.
You know, that elusive state of mind where you see the good and reject the bad.
Not an easy task. Negativity seems to surround us - the clerk at the store is grumpy and foul-tempered.
A family member misinterprets a conversation.
Television shows are full of murder and mayhem, even the comedies.

I've been thinking all day about how hard it is for me to see the positive aspects of many of the situations and stories I find myself writing about.
How can anything positive come from the death of an entire family, including a four year old, in a car crash? How can three young men drowning at sea carry even a breath of positivity? or fires? or drug incidents, or any number of bad news events. Some days it seems as though I wallow in bad news and some days that is very difficult to withstand.

And then I found myself thinking of that sweet, violin playing Rutgers freshman that jumped from the George Washington Bridge.
An indisputable tragedy, for certain.

But look at the national conversation it has started.
People are actually talking about kindness and acceptance. They are talking to each other. They are posting on Facebook, having conversations on talk radio and television news. College campuses are holding vigils and seminars on acceptance.
Could all of this outcry of wrongness over this suicide and what led up to it possibly churn off a little positive energy? Could it spark a tempest of outrage?

Could one young man or woman who feels outcast - different than their peers - could one person feel a little hopeful?

Could one person feel less alone, less stigmatized, less shunned?

Could one person who has been hateful begin to understand what it feels like to be different than the rest of the crowd?
Could one person who has been hateful begin to understand the implications of their actions and thoughts? The implications of a limp-wrist joke? The power of insults, name calling, derision?

And, taking it just a small step further, could that person's viewpoint and actions shift - actually shift - away from hate to acceptance, to a place of actual caring?

The woman I interviewed this morning suggested everyone start a Gratitude Journal and every day list three things to be thankful for.
Today I am thankful for L, J, A, V and D, who have shown me that courage wears many faces.
Today I am thankful that the world is at least paying attention to the loss of one young man who had to fly from a bridge to find peace.
And today I am thankful that a conversation has begun in many dark corners about acceptance.

Sincere apologies - I have been remiss.

2010-10-04T07:10:00.001-07:00

I have been so busy here Down East over the past year that I have truly neglected my blog.
Oh yeah, I posted some pictures here and there.
But I never really had a good conversation...never shared the depth and breadth of my life or debated world issues or the joy of relationships.
Now, There are so many changes under way that I have decided to post with renewed vigor - every day!
So today is devoted to my apology.
When I first moved Down East, I was believing that it was going to be a slower, easier day at work for me. HA HA and HA.
I have never been so busy in my life! It's been a good busy however and I've had so many new adventures. I also discovered I'm a boat whore and will do almost anything to go out on the ocean.

But an old ugly habit reared its head - I tend to let work overtake my life. If I have no plans, I work. If I am lonely, I work.
I fill every hour with scanner traffic, calls for information, research.
This has to stop.
When I went on summer vacation to Cape Cod with BFF Donna, I returned with a promise to stick to a 40-hour week. Most weeks, I am doing well. Some days, I fail miserably. But I'll keep at it!
Also, I made a promise to my daughter go to the doctor about an annoying problem and I did and it has been corrected! Just this little change has brightened my spirits tremendously.
(Okay, all my Goddesses - don't start bombarding me with questions. I will give no answers. I only mention this because I am now happier and more content than I have been in a long time.)

I'm heading into my second winter in Sweet Pea Cabin and I'm really looking forward to it - definitely a shift change for me. I always saw winter as such a burden. Now I'm waiting for that snuggling in feeling and that I have plans for several fall/winter trips helps ease that feeling that winter can be endless.
I'm headed to P'town later this month, Florida in February and likely NYC in March or April.
Winter doesn't scare me - I've instead shifted to a settled feeling.

I have also begun swimming again. I know this is ridiculous but I stopped because my bathing suit kept falling off. Really. It was 12 years old for gawd's sake.
I ordered a new one on-line and it took 8 weeks for it to come!
So it is back into the pool and I'm pleased.

I am finally also coming to grips with being without my best friends from P'town. It has been an extraordinarily difficult transition. I've made a dozen trips back over the past year to visit and have been so fortunate to have several BFF's come up here and visit. But still the shift to spending weeks without my friends......not an easy road,

So, I apologize for being neglectful.
That changes today.

Finally, the reunion photos! A great time at Danny's house!

2010-09-08T12:56:00.000-07:00

The wonderful, beautiful Karlin welcomed everyone that came - even though there were a few bumps in the road like an overflowing dishwasher, a crash between a two year old and a husky, a drowned ATV, a great time was had by all~

Here is my niece Jessica setting up her tent - I think after a pretty horrible experience at Lovely's Motel in Newport, everyone will be tenting next year!
There were horseshoes - here's Danny and Russ getting very serious...
And lots of fun conversations...girlie style...

The talent show was a big hit - Here is Tobin, my great-nephew, showing off his hula hoop skills!

And his sister Amelia was amazing! The pair won best in show and got the first annual BETTYFest award...

Even Karlin performed - here he is doing the Smarty Pants Dance!

Yup, that's me with Jenny's arms! We did a Julia Child's skit about making the perfect peanut butter sandwich while drinking wine directly from the bottle!

Jenny acted as awards' announcer!

My sister Debra performed Sandra Dee from "Grease"...

My nephew David sang (the only accomplished performer in our group!)

And the boys did a terrible finger-snapping poetry rendition....just so bad!

My sisters were Sonny and Cher and really made us laugh! That's Susan on the left and Robin on the right - they were fantastic!

We can't wait for next year!!!!!!

A Connecticut wedding!

2010-08-25T06:33:00.000-07:00

Connecticut was cool and raining most of the weekend. Boy did they need it - everything was crispy brown, burnt by the very hot summer they are having. My son's garden only had sunflowers left in bloom... On Friday, it was off to Danielle and Steve's wedding in West Hartford. Danielle is my niece - here she is coming down the aisle with her dad, Pasquale.

And now she and Steven are married! I just love the way the sun decided to shine on them as they turned from the altar.

Here they are greeting people outside the church - look at the evil eye my sister in law, Jennifer (jiffy) is giving me!

The reception was held at Aqua Turf, an amazingly beautiful venue about a 1/2 hour outside of West Hartford. God bless Google directions!

My little Karlin says "Hi Grammie! Can I have your camera!"

Russ and Taryn were there too! Didn't they look great?

But the music was tooooo loud for little Karlin I think. Such a serious face!

Daddy enjoys a quiet moment with his little man, overlooking all the fountains.

Here's a sweet shot of the groom, Steven, talking with his new father in law, Pasquale.

It was a great weekend but ended on a sour note: Trudy had planned a goddess party at her house for Monday night and so I arrived expecting a gathering. Her brother, however, has taken a turn for the worse so there was no party. I ended up heading home and it was so good to sleep in my own house!
Tune in tomorrow for unbelievable pictures of BETTYfest, the Kiley reunion at Danny's house that we held two weeks ago...you are in for a treat!

weekend company - YAY!!

2010-08-02T06:14:00.000-07:00

My dear friends Donna and Janet came this weekend for a Downeast visit. It was so wonderful to have them here! I love Downeast but it is hard without friends...I think most of the people here have large families around them and do not host friends the way we did in central Maine. I had a party a while back and there were almost 40 people that came and said what a great time they had. But....not one return invitation. In the full year that I have been here, only one person has invited me to their home. One.....sad. and lonely....and that is why visits from my beloved Pittsfield friends are so important to me. We laugh, play and just have such good times together. Thank you for coming D and J!

Part of our weekend was spent on Campobello Island, where Donna's parents are buried. We paid our respects and then hit the park. Do you believe this view????

We hiked for a while Friday afternoon (on Saturday they did TWO hikes - Bold Coast and the Western Head Preserve while I worked for a couple hours) and talked and laughed the whole time!

Donna in a pensive moment on a pier at Campobello....she spent many days here in her youth and was feeling so comfortable and at home on the island.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt's cottage - an amazing park, an amazing historical tour.

And we timed it right - the gardens were glorious in their blooming, including the dahlias below.

Saturday night was for enjoying gourmet pizza, drinking wine and playing dominoes. When they left Sunday morning, my heart was heavy. I miss everyone so much and just love sharing my beautiful Downeast with them....

I've been painting up a storm....but first =

2010-07-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

Just a little dinghy (haven't we all been there) sort of abandoned in a flower-filled field. Neglected. Forlorn. But at the same time just lovely and peaceful.

Fish on a plate....inspired by Cape Cod....

I've been painting red teapots all weekend. Big ones, smaller ones. Fat ones and tall ones. I am having so much fun. There is something magical in a tea pot - I actually have a small collection. Women have been gathering around tea pots forever: sharing their secrets, telling their stories, seeking comfort and solace and celebrating joyous events and accomplishments. Not to mention how damn good a cup of tea tastes.....

See anything you might like??? Have a great weekend!

It's very quiet here on the hill....

2010-07-21T14:26:00.001-07:00

Sweet Pea Cabin is silent today.

My little Kiley has gone away to the beach with her parents until Sunday.
While on the one hand I will miss her little voice, her sweet smile and her emerging personality, a little time to myself is going to be interesting. I've already put a second coat of poly on the freshly sanded living room floor without worrying about little footprints ruining the finish, and I'm taking myself out to dinner tonight - a good beginning.

Here's what else I intend to do:
1. Paint all day Saturday without interruption.
2. Walk around in my underwear.
3. Eat junk food anytime I want.
4. Turn my music on REALLY loud.

I will also call her three times a day to see if she is having a good time and cook her a special sgetti dinner when she comes home! I'm already missing her giggle...and the way she climbs into my bed AFTER I have already made it....and how she arrives each morning and asks for toast....and how she smells after her bath when she comes over for a kiss and hug good night....and how she knocks on my office door and asks me to go to the beach in the afternoons...yikes. Sunday can't come fast enough!

It's interesting to see how completely I have shifted, first from having a house full of children to then living alone, to now sharing my life with my daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter across the driveway. There are times when I crave a little quiet and alone time; while other times I march across the driveway every fifteen minutes to visit.
It's an interesting experiment and we have to be careful to be very kind to each other so we don't interfere, hurt each others' feelings or overstep personal boundaries.
I think we do a pretty good job and we are having such a wonderful time sharing our dreams, goals, ideas and lives. What an exciting journey!

And I still miss that little pumpkin....

Finally...The Cape Cod pix I promised!

2010-07-20T18:08:00.000-07:00

Don't you love this painting??? There was so much art on Cape Cod and in Rockport (MA) and I swear Donna and I went into every gallery we passed..... In Sandwich on the Cape we went to a sculpture garden and salt marsh walk. The sculpture below is called "Nest." Do you see the nest of stones inside the outer structure?

The walk to the salt marsh took us over a VERY rickety rope bridge over a bog.....scary!
One of the days, we spent the whole morning and part of the afternoon at the National Seashore - from the temperature of the water, to the number of people, to the absence of rocks, we were certainly 100 percent sure we weren't in Maine! I am going to have to paint this trio of colorful umbrellas...
I found a new boyfriend in Provincetown. Everywhere you looked, there was art.

This little village of plaster architecture graced the entrance to one of the best galleries....

The bay at Provincetown is full of pleasure boats - very few working vessels.

In between the many stores and galleries at Provincetown are little garden entrances to even more special places....
And here is my lovely traveling partner - Donna - test driving a new pair of earrings.

Look at that sky - this is the National Seashore and it is incredible.

We had the best time. New adventures, new sights, laughter and good food. But most of all it was wonderful to just get away for a bit. Since I've been back I've been keeping to my new rule: no more 60 hour weeks. I head to the beach in the afternoon if I have a night meeting; I stop when my day is done; and I've been painting, painting, painting. The galleries and the atmosphere at the Cape got my artistic juices flowing.

Since I've been back I've gone on a whale watch, hiked the Western Head Preserve, and taken another trip back to Pittsfield to visit with Donna and friends (and see amazing fireworks!)
Sorry about the delay in posting - I promise to be more prompt!

New Bedford and Rockport, the last two stops on our vacation!

2010-06-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

New Bedford, Massachusetts - The City That Lit the World - is a city full of history. The whaling industry built the city and beautiful captains' homes - such as this magical pink one - are part of a lovely walking tour. We even saw the home of Nathan and Polly Johnson, who gave shelter and food to hundreds of fleeing slaves in the Underground Railroad, including Frederick Douglass. We were both so moved. It is a city made for walking - narrative plaques tell the history all around and we stopped first at the visitors' center for directions and advice. There was a great 20-minute movie about the city and we left laden with brochures and a clear sense of what to see and do.
This is the pulpit at Salem Bethel, a Quaker built church that was founded to save the souls of fishermen lost at sea. I found two relatives of my dear Eric's on a plaque commemorating lost sailors - they were cousins of his father's. Herman Melville has a marked pew in this church.

The whaling museum has enormous whale skeletons hanging overhead in the entry. Artwork and history from the whaling time made for a great visit.

Step into the jaws of a whale.....

All of the streets in downtown New Bedford are cobblestoned and when the cars go by, everything rummmmmbbbbbbles.

Here is a little view of the port - which is a short walk from downtown and the museum over a pedestrian bridge above the highway. It is very commercial still. Lots of draggers and fishing boats, including the one - very aptly named - below.

I wanted to sneak aboard and steal its life preserver with the boat's name on it but Donna wouldn't let me....

Here is a magical knot garden in one of the sea captain's mansions. The house is now used for professional offices but the garden is completely original. Following the walking trail is a must if you go!

And then we drove through Boston onto Cape Ann and into the picture-postcard town of Rockport, Massachusetts. A little sailing regatta was under way. There are two harbors: a working waterfront and a country club sailing harbor. There's a breakwater and lighthouse and vistas to die for. There are a gazillion shops and tiny restaurants and we didn't want to leave. I could have stayed for a month!

These kayaks presented a pretty picture (I took this one for Donna) below the rooftop restaurant where we had dinner. I enjoyed a fabulous sangria and we had salads....yummmy! And a man waiter - I always love to be waited on by men.

Behind all the shops were the living quarters and several tiny, lovely beaches. This village is a rare treat and one that is not too far away from Maine. We left after dinner (dark) and stumbled into our beds back in Pittsfield about midnight...

Tomorrow I'll treat you to pictures of Cape Cod - marvelous and inspiring!!

I'm back and inspired - I'm painting like crazy - here are a few!

2010-06-28T16:45:00.000-07:00

This one's called Thursday's dinner. There were a billion art galleries in Provincetown and I made Donna go into each one.....so inspiring. The styles were all over the place but I really liked the loose, colorful ones and once I got home, I couldn't stop!

ooops - sorry. I'll have to call this one "tipsy tulips!"

A self portrait.....

And home sweet home - the sunset over Cobscook Bay from Lubec Friday night.....this one needs no explanation.

More vacation photos tomorrow! But suffice it to say: I HAD A BALL!!!

and she's off!

2010-06-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

Won't be posting for a little bit - BFF Donna and I are heading to Cape Cod and Martha's Vineyard for a week's VERY NEEDED vacation.....I'm sure I'll have adventures to share when I return!

sad news...Bob the Builder has gone away.

2010-06-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

The floor project has officially been halted....to be picked up at a later date.
He got about 1/2 of the floor sanded and his son became desperately ill. Something to do with breathing - oh yeah, that's important.
I told him I was not FIRING him but rather POSTPONING the whole job. He picked up his gear, I've been clearing out the sawdust and putting furniture back in.

We'll try again when I get back from vacation...oh did I not tell you?
BFF Donna and I are headed to Cape Cod and Martha's Vineyard on Sunday morning! WAHOO!

I'd like you to meet Chico.

2010-06-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

He's a little man with a VERY big temper....he moved into my yard a couple of days ago and has harrassed my poor dog ever since. He is Fearless and chitters at all who come and go: the dog, me, the mourning doves, the gray squirrels.

Saturday he tried to move into the bat box but the little slots are WAY too small for him!

I wish my floor sanding guy had as much energy as Chico - If he did, he would be done by now. Unfortunately, Bob the Builder disappears more than he sands. He is only about 1/4 done and he started Friday. He comes late, leaves for lunch, leaves early....you get the picture. Yesterday he claimed he didn't feel well. Today he has only been here two hours.

Normally I wouldn't care - I'm paying him for the job, not by the hour, and the floor is starting to look amazing.
But I'm expecting special company and I'm starting to panic.
I leave Friday for vacation on Cape Cod with BFF Donna and my special company is coming the next Thursday - the same day I'm coming home.
That means that everything - furniture, drapes, art - has to be back in place BEFORE I leave. And THAT means that I have to get all the sawdust off walls, ceiling, brickwork.......yuk...before I get to put everything back where it goes.

So, the bottom line is that the final coat of poly needs to be down by Thursday noon at the latest! Backing up, if the first coat goes on Wednesday noon, it means he must be done sanding by Wednesday mid-morning, Tuesday would be better.

I'll keep you posted....I may end up hiring Chico to finish the job.

It is not going well...

2010-06-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

The floor, that is.
Bob the floor sander has been in and out all day (more out than in, actually). He's having a really hard time with the floor. It seems the brilliant former owners put tiles (which I removed, one by one) over the wood floor without sealing it. That means that the tile adhesive has been absorbed into the wood. As he sands, the glue gums up his sandpaper. He has gone through a TON of sandpaper and has only completed about one fifth of the floor - which looks amazing, by the way.

This is his first day:
He arrived at 11 a.m.
He left to get a different sander.
He went to lunch.
He went to get more paper.
He left at 2:30 p.m. for an appointment.
He might be back later.

I'm discouraged.

What a disaster around here!

2010-06-10T18:19:00.001-07:00

This is my kitchen - chuck full of living room furniture. My bedroom is full of art and lamps and the spare room is all aclutter with odd chairs and ottomans. And why, you ask?

Because a lovely young man named Bob is coming in the morning to sand my living room floor!
WAHOO! I have been waiting more than a year for this and I cannot wait to see it done.

I got a jump on things this morning (before breakfast!) and sanded my nice deep windowsills - look at the difference! The finish was reallybrittle and so it came off quite easily. In some places, however, I had to sand a bit deeper to remove cat scratch marks. But once they are poly'd they will be lovely.

So cleaning up all this will take me days - a week? But it will be so worth it. One more project I can cross off my list! I promise to show off the finished floor with pictures....

And speaking of pictures, I'm working on a really different art project. Lubec is hosting a contest this summer for art made with ocean debris. I've been beach combing for weeks and a have a pile of "sea trash" that I'm working with - ropes, plastic jugs, metal pans, bait bags, lobster elastics, an orange buoy, crockery and sea glass.

I'm going to document the process and will put up the pics when it is done. I think you are going to like this one!

back from my trip to Connecticut....

2010-06-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

well, that was an emotional roller coaster - too complicated and personal to delve into here but suffice it to say that the next month is going to be incredibly hard for my family. Sorry I can't provide too many details but please keep my heart in your thoughts - it feels a bit broken right now.

My new granddaughter is beautiful - Arianna, nicknamed Ri, is a sweetheart. She is a quiet crier right now (I bet she gets some powerful lungs soon, though) and has wonderful coloring. Her mother says she is a good baby, a good eater and a good sleeper. She has deep dark eyes and dark black hair and the softest skin imaginable. Holding her, my second oldest son's child, was like holding my past and my future at the same time.

Usually it is hard to see everyone when we head to CT - lots of family and friends around - but we went to a lovely wedding shower for my niece on Saturday and got to see some special kin. Just a few raindrops and a soft breeze at the shower but discovered major storm damage as we drove just to the next town to my son's home. Trees were down everywhere: across roads, on power lines, into houses. It was a microburst, not a tornado, and luckily my son only lost one very large branch which crashed down on top of his rose arbor.

Most of my family came to my son's home on Sunday: my sisters, brother, nieces and nephews, and all their special people....it was really fun and so fulfilling to see them all....it always seems like too much time goes by between visits. I won't see any of them now until August. StinkyPooPooCaCa.....I hate this distance between us.

The trip home was LOOOOOONG - we left CT at 9 a.m. Monday and got home to Machias in time for supper. Kiley was amazing - have you ever tried to make a 7-hour trip (not counting any pit stops) with a two-year old in the midst of potty training???!!!! She was great - hardly complained and ate everything we could feed her... my car has more crumbs, broken crackers, spilled juice, than you could imagine. And we learned that "I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee" can indeed be sung 23 times in a row....................

another new start...

2010-06-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

it seems as though there are a lot of changes under way here. I became a grandmother again on Saturday with the birth of Arianna Eilzabeth Masse Marinone. She is beautiful, 7 pounds, 13 ounces, and I hope to meet her this weekend when my daughter, granddaughter Kiley and I head to Connecticut for a wedding shower. My heart soars with the possibilities for this sweet bundle.

But this is also such a heartbreak.
My son and the baby's mother, Chris, are not together. I do not know Chris - I only met her once - and I understand that her financial situation is dire. It breaks my heart but I know that she cannot rely on my son, Mark, for assistance of any kind. What is this baby's future, I wonder. How much of a role will Chris allow the rest of Mark's family to play in her life.....
I am terrified that I will not get to know this baby girl nor will she get to know me and mine.
This baby has four uncles, four aunties, and several grandparents, two half-brothers and cousins, that are ready willing and able to shower her with love.
Well, today I will make contact and hopefully begin to build a bridge of love to that sweet baby.

I also start today with a new editor. I am broken-hearted that I have lost the editor that I had been working with for the past three years. This new journey will be interesting...

I also start a new resolution to only work my assigned hours. No more 12-14 hour days. No more working on my day off and my weekend off. ha....this one I'll have some real trouble with....

the view from the dike.....

2010-05-28T06:28:00.000-07:00

On the way home from a meeting in Calais last night, Mother Nature really embraced me. In Baring, at the Moosehorn Wildlife Refuge, a male bald eagle kept me company for a bit - sailing along, white tail feathers spread, headed to his nest...
In the Meddybemps area and then again around Cooper, small herds of deer were in the fields - their coats were all shaggy from their winter shedding and the bright red of their summer colors were shining through.
With the windows open, I could smell the apples blossoms and the lilac bushes, heavy with flower cones.
I even stopped to take a picture of bee hives in a blueberry field and the quiet sounds of the evening were so soothing.
As I drove into Machias, the picture above is what greeted me from the dike. The dike protects the Middle River (in the pic) from the salt water of Machias Bay, and nearly every summer day it becomes a place of commerce - a living breathing flea market. From one end to the other, vendors stretch along the parking area on the fresh water side selling flowers, fish, antiques, junk, wooden Adirondack chairs, handmade toys and a thousand other bits.
If you stand at the dike and look west in the evening, this is your view.
Turn around at dawn and there is a similar postcard picture of the dawn.
ahhhhhhhhh.....

The feeling is amazing when I take a risk...

2010-05-24T17:42:00.001-07:00

At first it is almost unthinkable. I weigh the pros and cons. I have a little argument with myself about the worth of the risk. I feel alternately giddy and terrified.
And then I decide to go for it, and it becomes very, very scary - putting myself out there, opening myself up to rejection. I think we are all just like Sally Fields, seeking validation: "You like me! You really like me!"
When it is my art I am risking, it's like putting a piece of myself out there, a little bit of my soul, a little chunk of who I am. My art is what I am on the INSIDE - the part I too often keep hidden. A reflection of both the joy and pain in my life; it's my heart.

And so, at precisely 9:12 a.m. this morning, I did it.
I entered three pieces of my art in a JURIED art show and - can you hear the chorus of angels singing Hallelujah? - they were accepted!!!
WAHOOOOOO!!! I gambled, I risked, I took a chance, I walked the tightrope and didn't fall!!
I have never entered a juried event before and really was on pins and needles all day. This was a BIG stretch for me. I even put the paintings in my car last night so I wouldn't chicken out.
But then, pulling into the arts center parking lot this morning, I felt waves of nerves again. Two of the paintings were VERY large and I thought possibly - with limited space at the center - they might be too large. Then I thought they might not fit the theme of spring. Then I thought the colors might be too bright. Or too dark. Or....whatever, just not right somehow.
Then I caught sight of some of the other entries and my heart really sank. Boy there are some AMAZING, let me say it again, AMAZING artists in Eastport....
I dropped them off in Eastport at the Eastport Arts Center - They will be part of the EAC's Festival of the Arts - Rite of Spring. A reception will be held this Friday and the show runs until June 26.
Are you proud of me? I am feeling quite full of myself this evening ...
Now we'll have to see if I have enough courage to go to the reception......deep breaths, Sharon. Listen to your mother - "Nothing ventured, nothing gained" - and go for it! And most importantly, what should I wear?

P.S. For those of you who are interested and familiar with my paintings, I submitted "My Grandmother's Dresses," "Forget Me Nots," and "Ghosts of Herring (a version similar to the one Russ and Lyn bought last fall.)"

I haven't forgotten you , dear readers...honestly.

2010-05-18T11:29:00.001-07:00

I just have been working so hard and long that I have been in a spin. I promise a post tomorrow....tomorrow...tomorrow.

Another whirlwind weekend! Woot! Woot!

2010-05-10T13:12:00.001-07:00

What a great weekend - I feel like I was immersed and drowned in love and friendship!

My bff Donna hosted a girls' gathering Friday night, and there my best friends were: sitting cross-legged on couches with a bit of food and plenty of wine. There is such depth of conversation and laughter when women who have known each other for decades relax in each other's company. Many of us were young mothers, or younger mothers, when we first met and now, all our children are grown and gone. Graduations have been held. Weddings celebrated. Grandchildren adored.

When we gather, we don't have to explain ourselves. Our history is a shared one. We have cried together, laughed as one, and as the years rolled by, almost became one. One unit: the Goddesses. When my children were little, there was a list of the Goddesses and their phone numbers on the fridge - they were instructed to call any one of them if they couldn't find me. What better example of total trust and faith is there than to hand over your childrens' well being to another woman?

We stayed too long and talked too late...but it was wonderfully spectacular.

But the joy and laughter wasn't over - not by a long shot. On Saturday morning, three of us headed out to Belfast for a bit of retail therapy and art appreciation....that was after a fabulous pedicure early Saturday (that was sort of ruined when the pedicurist talked all about politics when all I wanted was to loll my head back and revel in the feeling of the massage, whirlpool and lotions)..... Lots of art and beautiful things at Belfast and a lovely lunch.

Saturday night we celebrated a 25th anniversary at a local golf course clubhouse....good stories around the table with true friends. I got to see LOTS of people that I haven't seen in months and even learned there are exploding lakes in Cameroon, Africa. (WHO KNEW??)
Sunday morning Donna treated me with homemade, steaming popovers with raspberry jam...how lovely is that! And after church, my dear friends the Burgesses gave me all the innards to a piano: a bucket of ivory and ebony keys and the wonderful hammers and wires and STUFF - I can't imagine the assemblage art I can make with this!!! YAHOO!!! The whole weekend was topped off with a great visit with my son, daughter-in-law and baby Karlin (who is trying to sit up all by himself already!!)
The usually boring ride home along Route 9 was filled with thoughts of art and those piano guts: ideas are swirling, fueled by some fabulous pieces I saw recently at the Bangor Art Museum. I can't wait to get started...

So, back to reality today but carrying a bit of that cloud of love with me. Thank you my friends, for filling my heart and spirit and letting me know - with words and hugs and conversation and laughter and buckets of piano innards - that you care about me. Because I sure care about you. Margaret said Sunday morning that we don't say it often enough - so here, to you, my dearest ones: I LOVE YOU!

Oh Good Lord, I think I'm a JUNKIE!

2010-05-06T11:07:00.000-07:00

I have been suffering from serious allergy issues this past week - for the first time in my life - and yesterday I finally gave in and bought Zyrtec. I was really afraid it was going to make me sleepy...

WELLLLLLL

I cleaned my office, that means moving five pieces of furniture and 7,000 cans and bottles of paint, swept and vacuumed the entire house, fed and washed and walked the dog, hauled an 8 x 10 rug out to the clothesline and washed and rinsed it with the hose, did a load of wash, dried the load of wash, wrote two stories ......

all in 30 minutes.

What an effect that medication had on me - it's like I'm a hopped up, buzzed out, meth head. I can't move fast enough, I can't think fast enough. I think I could get addicted to this - what are the symptoms?
I took one of the pills last evening and was worried that I wouldn't sleep - Ha Ha and another Ha - I slept like the dead, but had the most vivid of dreams.
In the last one I remember, I was a master carpenter and was building my dream house; literally building it myself, showing others how to raise the walls, put in the plumbing, electrify it. I was strangely competent in this dream and very, I say VERY attractive. (After all, it was MY dream!)
There were three horses living in the kitchen and a boy I went to high school with (and haven't seen since 1966) was the foreman. He was tiling the kitchen ceiling with floor tiles and told me that it would be easier to clean.
Richard Nixon kept coming by and I kept throwing him out - he was pretending he was the code enforcement inspector. PALEEEEEEZ! Nixon? Following the rules?
Ella Grasso, who was the governor of Connecticut once, was installing my hot tub but the "Don't Squeeze the Charmin" man (whoever he is) was already inside it!!!
I cannot wait to turn my brain on again tonight...

Today is my 350th post....can you imagine?

2010-05-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

and I'm completely at a loss for some superb, pithy remarks. So I've sent you this tree. That's my shoe, out there in front, to give you some perspective on its size. Remember, my shoe is an enormous size 10. Can you imagine all that tree has witnessed? It sits next to a house built in 1883 which sits on the shore of the Saint Croix River in Calais. Today the view is lovely - soft green trees rolling down to the river's edge. Trails and red beaches. When the house was built, though, it was surrounded by quarries and factories that sold the stunning red granite of the area (it puts that pale pink Acadian granite to shame for depth of color.)
When you look at the history that must have surrounded and unfolded around that tree, it really puts my pitiful blog to shame, doesn't it? Not to mention that my shoe isn't looking all that hot either.

But, it is the 350th anniversary of me getting mouthy, so I'll offer this....

Before the sun had even cracked the dawn, I was awakened at 4 a.m. by a dog - not mine, one that I'm dog-sitting for someone else = Duke, a fat, tongue-lolling, black pug with a MASSIVE underbite - who was apparently spooked by some passing deer.

When the visiting dog barked, I jumped out of my sleep, scaring the hell out of my dog, who jumped off my bed, landed in her dish of water and began barking at the visiting dog.

Duke, apparently a bit disorientated by it all, ran headlong into the wall.

My dog sat down and just looked at him.

Of course, we were all having breakfast by 4:30 a.m. and now I'm ready for a nap. I hope the mutts are too. Out under that tree would be a fine place for a snooze...

Kiley's party - for the second time around! And the latest cupcake trial:

2010-05-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

Of course there were cupcakes - Faye's friend Amanda made little cupcakes with sugar pictures of Kiley's face on top! Faye offered a little craft - painting sailor caps. They loved it!
The guests were all from Kiley's day care at the University of Maine. There is Reilly, a tiny little girl, Jamal, Kiley's best friend, and Luke, Reilly's sister. Judah came a little late and was a bit young for this project.

Jamal is surrounded by bubbles - the hit of the party! Jamal is Kiley's best, best friend and she was ecstatic to have him at her home. "This is Kiley's house!" she kept shouting to him.

And Kiley couldn't get enough of the bubbles herself!

And discovering she actually had pockets was a sure highlight of the day!

The perfect cupcake quest continues....This weekend I made Twinkee cupcakes. They were wonderful but didn't taste like Twinkees. The filling was near perfect but the recipe called for using a pound cake recipe and gently lifting in four whipped egg whites. Sounds like it would be light and spongy but it wasn't - it was heavy like pound cake. It was a good cupcake but not what I was going for.

This coming weekend I'm going to try Hostess cupcakes - filling, chocolate smooth frosting and the little squiggle. I'll keep you posted.
Today I head to St. Croix National Park in Calais, where they are building a new rangers' station. It is not too bad out but it is overcast - if I'm headed to the sea I am selfish enough to also want the sun! And tonight there is a free concert at the university by the Town Band, a group of local folks who play Americana-type music. Should be a hoot! Wanna come?

The bbq recipe, as requested:

2010-05-01T04:50:00.000-07:00

Here is the sauce I ended up with last year:

1/2 to 3/4s cup Jack Daniels
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 c ketchup
1/3 c vinegar
3 tbsp worcestershire sauce
1/2 c brown sugar
3/4 c molasses
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tbsp salt
1/4 c tomato paste
1 tsp liquid smoke
1/2 tsp hot sauce
You can add a little cayenne powder to taste for a little kick.

Cook it for several hours on very low heat, allowing it to thicken it up. It is best to make the day before you are going to use it, refrigerate it and allow the flavors to meld together. It is so much better the next day.

Enjoy - and if you try it, let me know if you liked it!

It's going to be a cupcake summer.

2010-04-30T05:12:00.000-07:00

This one is a Chai Spice cupcake (sorry it is out of focus) - which tasted wonderful! I just substituted a cup of VERY strong Chai tea for the water in a spice cake recipe. It has cream cheese frosting with cinnamon sugar and vanilla crunchies....
Every summer I pick a food challenge for myself. Two years ago it was 1950s cocktails (Boy was THAT a fun summer!) Last year it was barbecue sauce, and this year it is cupcakes and salad dressing. So far I've only been concentrating on the cupcakes while waiting for local spring greens to be available.
At Kiley's birthday celebration last week, it was a cupcake bonanza: white frosting, cream cheese frosting, spicey Chai cakes and Red Velvet, lots of sprinkles and decorations. Kids (and all the adults) love cupcakes!
I made minis for the kids and big ones for the adults, but I kept catching grown ups popping the minis in. Check out the little cupcake plates I got at TJMaxx a couple weeks ago - some are shapped like cakes and then there are the sweet ones with ruffled edges...I Love Them!

When we weren't eating cupcakes or lobster or other stuff, we played in the back yard. Here is a shot of half of my kids. There is (from left) my son Russell and his sweetie Taryn, Kiley, my daughter Faye and her husband Matt, my son Daniel, Karlin and Daniel's wife Amanda. What a group! There are three children and their spouses/others that are missing....one of these days we will all be together - but I'll need a very wide lens to fit them all in the picture!

This was Karlin's first trip Down East and Kiley was so happy to have him here (not to mention how happy this grandmother was!) He is absolutely precious and Kiley is so sweet with him.

It was hard to say goodbye to Russ and Taryn (it always is so heart wrenching.) I don't think we'll get to see them again until a family wedding this summer. I love them both so much.... They got back to Bayonne all in one piece after a fun stop in Freeport for a bit of shopping.

So, is anyone willing to share their absolutely favorite homemade salad dressing recipe? I'll keep everyone posted....this weekend I'm going to try making Twinkee cupcakes, complete with a good filling. I'll share...bonfire is at 7 p.m. Saturday night!

Work, work, and more work...

2010-04-20T03:36:00.001-07:00

I've been working so hard this week, attempting to bank a couple of stories so I'll have some free time next weekend - half of my kids are heading up here to celebrate a birthday. We're planning a little cookout and probably at least one outing to the beach - depending on weather.
Oh - I should disclose that one of my stories was at a distillery and I was sipping raw rum at 10 a.m. in the morning.......it was so strong that my lips tingled all day! WHEW!

Not only will that be a special weekend, but on Thursday I'm headed to: first, a writers' workshop at the NEWS (that should be fun), and second, an art opening at the Bangor Art Museum. My friend Hazel, who is an extraordinary artist, took some pictures while on a windjammer cruise and one of them is being used in the museum. It has been reproduced in large format - 4 feet long - and shows a pod of whales swimming in a circle with lots of lot reflecting off the sea. It is beautiful! She is from UK and is so much fun that I know she'll make the evening memorable! A group of friends from central Maine will be on hand and we plan on going out to dinner afterwards. I smell an adventure!

I'll stay the night in Bangor - I learned my lesson last year trying to drive home at 10 p.m. after the American Folk Festival.
There were parts of my (2 hours) ride home that night that I don't really remember....it is so rural with no streetlights...incredibly exhausting. So I'll spend the night at the Charles Hotel (so 1920's-ish) and head back Friday morning.

I have Fri. off from work so I'll spend the day cooking and baking (red velvet mini-cupcakes and chai large cupcakes) and waiting for Russell and Taryn to arrive. They will be coming from Bayonne, New Jersey, and will be the first to arrive. Danny and Amanda and Karlin will arrive Saturday.

It sort of feels like Christmas around here, the anticipation is so thick in the air. I am unbelievably excited. We get this visit from R & T just once a year and it always seems like it is over before it begins. They are city kids - living where dinner gets delivered to the door every night, subway is the main mode of travel, ALL the women wear stillettos and ALL the men Italian leather shoes....but I know that Russ feels his roots when he is here. He's a pig farmer's son, after all, who was raised with fields and woods and a river in his backyard. He jumped from the loft of the barn, climbed the trees in the yard and raced snowmobiles through the field. He always comments on the quiet and the incredible number of stars when he is here....I miss him so and always have the sense that something is amiss in my life...like I've misplaced something, or forgotten to do something, or can't remember a key appointment.

And then I remember that it is Russ, my big laughing Russ, whose hugs are something to remember and whose humor kept our whole family going through some dark times. It is Russ that is missing. My Big Russ, BRussell sprouts, the Bus, Muscle Rack, number 77....I'll be holding my breath until Friday, and baking with my heart, not my hands.

It's 11 p.m. and I'm just finishing work....

2010-04-12T20:06:00.000-07:00

But I wanted to share some pictures with you before I crash...sweet daffodils in the window. Can you believe how early spring is this year? I've seen green grass, the peep frogs are shouting and all the trees are in bud - I love it! And speaking of love.... look at my grandson Karlin being held by his daddy Danny. Isn't that the most beautiful boy (both of them, I think!) Karlin is five months old now and growing like a weed - Amanda said he outgrew all his clothes at once! I wish I lived closer - I don't get to see him nearly enough. But when he does see me, I get a great big smile every time!

It took all my strength!

2010-04-08T12:13:00.000-07:00

But I was able to do a story today at The Ark, a no-kill animal shelter in nearby Cherryfield, and I did NOT come home with any new dogs or cats.

I tell ya - it was hard! There were wet little noses, very wiggly behinds, purring, licking, and a dozen soulful eyes looking up at me....

What a temptation! There were rat terriers, a big shepherd, a black lab, both a short and a long haired Daschund, and a woefully skinny tickhound. There were cats of every color, size and temperament.

But Emma the-dog-that-hates-water is already have a rough spring and I think I need to concentrate on her needs. She is the poster girl for allergies. Right as we speak, she is worrying a red patch on the inside of her back leg. Something bit her or she backed into a bush that her system doesn't like or it could have been a little devil floating in the air - Who knows? But I'm already heading for the drug store to stock up on children's benadryl. Does anyone know of a pet friendly lotion I can use on her belly, which is sooooooooooo dry it is flaking?

AHHHHH spring - Poor Emma.

Today I interviewed worm harvesters....

2010-04-06T18:22:00.000-07:00

And I've never been so humbled in my life.
For three to six hours a day - sometimes twice a day - this past-middle aged couple digs in the flats (the part of the ocean revealed when the tide recedes) for worms. They spread their legs a bit and bend over, using a long-tined fork to turn over the mud and find the worms. Sometimes they are working mid-day, other times at the crack of dawn. Sometimes they have to use the headlights of their car to illuminate the mud. It all depends on the time of the tides.
They get 24 cents for each worm, which are frozen and shipped by dealers to Europe as bait or food for shrimp farms.
This couple does this back breaking work 12 months a year = snow, sleet, rain, hot sun.
When they arrived at our meeting place in their car, there were three people, a dog and their weeks' laundry in the tiny sedan. The back window was shattered out when they tried to load a sofa they found on the side of the road onto the car. The left front blinker cover had been replaced with duct tape and a plastic milk jug. They laughed about it and called the battered car their "mud buggy."
They have so little, so incredibly little, and even what they have is worn and tattered and of a quality that you or I might toss away.
Yet they are so blissfully happy doing this hard, dirty work.
"I have freedom," the woman said.
"I am my own boss," the man said.
They get to see eagles, ospreys, deer, sea life and their view "at the office" is most days breathtaking. They laugh easily and speak to each other with kindness. Recently they took $150 that was meant to fix the car and exchanged it for a small dog that was being abused.
I spent several hours with them and walked away jealous.

Not of their possessions, but of their peaceful view of life, of the world, of their values. Of the way they put their own needs secondary to a little dog that was suffering. Jealous of the simplicity of their work, of their world. Of their ability to find the beauty, the joy and the laughter in their tiny corner of Maine.

We should all be so lucky.
And so I offer a toast to Anna and Dickey, who taught me a lot more this morning than how to dig worms.

Happy Easter...There were wonderfully magical cupcakes to eat.....

2010-04-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

Didn't I do a superb job decorating those red velvet treats?

There was unbridled joy that the Easter Bunny came and left cracker-filled eggs!

And that the shiny eggs contained chocolate!!

I left Sweet Pea Cabin this morning at 4:30 a.m. - I had to cover a sunrise service on the pier in Eastport. It was a bit foggy so we didn't actually see the sun rise, just a sort of graduated lightening from black to dark, rich periwinkle to a lovely soft light blue.
Wrote the story, sent the pictures, wrote another story, sent more than 2,000 words worth of briefs and rewritten press releases, called the 11 police departments that I need to check in with each day on the weekend, and now I'm taking the wonderful book I'm reading (The Help) and sitting in the sun in my new Adirondack chair in the back yard.

I'll probably fall asleep...Happy Holiday, everyone!

Chapter three...

2010-04-03T13:37:00.000-07:00

Apparently this is where my adventure novel bogs down and gets really boring.....It is almost 5 p.m. and no one has set off a fire alarm, no one went to the hospital and no one crashed their car in a drunken stupor.

I'm bored now.

Chapters one and two...

2010-04-02T19:09:00.000-07:00

Oh - before I start my story, check out my very cool new glasses! (which won't be here for two weeks.) I bought them at the coolest optician's in St. Stephen, New Brunswick. I knew you'd like them.

Anyway, back to my story...
I think my life is becoming an adventure novel.

Chapter One: Last night, I made a quick trip to the grocery store for lunchmeat and cheese and fabric softener. It ended up taking almost two hours because while I was rummaging around at the back of the store by the baked beans and spiral sliced hams, the fire alarm went off. The store had to be evacuated and then the crazy strobe lights and piercing alarm triggered seizures in a young girl and the ambulance had to be called. The fire turned out to be smoldering microwave popcorn. Isn't it always?

ChapterTwo: This afternoon on a return trip from Bangor, a drunk driver nearly rear-ended me. Then she passed me going about 70 and then I said "Ha Ha!" when she got stuck behind a dump truck. There was no more laughing, however, when she missed a curve, slid through the soft shoulder, overcorrected and crashed into a stand of trees on the other side.
Someone really does protect drunks - she was unhurt. I called the police, kept her from walking into the road every time a vehicle passed, filled out my statement and watched her get handcuffed and taken off to jail. The whole thing - mostly the waiting for the cops to arrive part - took almost two hours. Oh, and when she kept complaining that she had to pee, the officer said she could go in the bushes if she really had to so she walked in front of my car - right in plain view on the side of the road - squatted down on the shoulder and let it go. Geez. I had to absolutely agree with her when she walked over, put her arm around my shoulder and drunkenly whispered in my ear "I'm fucked."

I just can't wait for tomorrow.

Today starting off dreary and rainy.

2010-03-31T18:14:00.000-07:00

But it brightened a bit as the morning wore on.
I had an interview in Jonesport and as I pulled into town, with the ocean to my left, fog enveloped me. The sea was a bit angry after days of storms and the scene was so incredibly beautiful: fog shrouded islands offshore, black rocks being struck by waves, white foam crashing on the beach.

I walked on the town pier for a while - arriving a bit too early for my story - and as I stood looking into the reach, at all the lobster boats, the scallop draggers and the pile of small dinghies on the dock, the sun weakly pushed its way through.
Suddenly, all at once, as if someone had snapped their fingers in a mystical magic trick, the fog vanished and the sun poured down.

The gray water turned a gorgeous blue/green. Men hanging around the pier suddenly began talking a little louder and laughing more often. Gulls wheeled and a family of ducks flew by.

It was if everything breathed a great collective sigh of relief.
Sun.
Light.
Promise.
Hope.

difficulties...

2010-03-30T06:31:00.001-07:00

My best friend is going through the hardest time of her life.
Someone she loves deeply is dying of cancer. There will be treatments, attempts to put off the inevitable, but in the end, she will likely lose this dear person.

I brought her bread and chocolate this weekend and spent the day giving her hugs and support. What else is there to do? You can look in her face, her eyes and see the pain she is feeling.

There is no way I can make this journey easy for her - no way I can salve her pain or ease her worry. I just want her to know she is not alone and that there are arms to hold her and hearts to love her during this horrific of times.

Sunshine and horses and nice young ladies....

2010-03-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

I worked on a story in Cherryfield this morning - and I met a wonderful woman who loves horses and children; In the barn at the stables she operates, she was surrounded by women of various ages, all grooming their Appaloosas, getting into high boots and helmets. The horses whinnied, stomped the barn floor and swished their tails. The girls giggled, passed stories back and forth, and finally walked the horses to the arena.
Around and around they went. Back and forth. Walking the horses at a canter; having them sidestep. Not a grumble. Not a complaint. Just smiles.

There is something right in the world when a young girl is riding a horse. She is tall. She pulls her shoulders back. She is confident. She is powerful. She is in control.

I wish the girls could hold that self-awareness, that confidence, always, on and OFF the horse.

Spring arrived in Washington County!

2010-03-21T09:56:00.000-07:00

And what doesn't say spring more than a little lady with a bright bow, a lovely tutu and high tops. It doesn't get any better than this......unlessssssssss
we are talking about our "Celebrate the First Day of Spring while Kicking Winter Goodbye Right in the A..." party here at Sweet Pea Cabin and the rest of the hill on Saturday night. We had friends in for a bonfire and treats - unbelievable food. It was pot luck and I told everyone to bring their best appetizers. Well, they certainly did! We had pulled pork sliders, meatballs, hot wings, cheese fondue, at least three different kinds of MAJOR dips (cold and hot), antipasto, roasted veggies with a superb peanut sauce, a sandwich and wrap platter, the best oatmeal/raisin/walnut cookies we have ever eaten, and red velvet cupcakes.

Matt and Faye had a bonfire in their yard and we kept all the food in my kitchen so guests didn't disturb the sleeping Miss Kiley. It was a very eclectic group of guests - from a college president to teachers to artists to Coast Guard wives to retired deputy sheriffs to a fisherman to professional photographers .... very diverse. This made for fun conversation!

It was so wonderful to have a house full of friends again, even though these are NEW friends and some of them I hope will become better friends. We laughed and talked - a lot! The hole in my heart that I always seem to walk around with because I miss my OLD friends was filled a little bit. I truly felt at HOME and a part of the community. I can remember going to the grocery store a few months ago and coming home in tears because I didn't know anyone. Now, just a short time later, I can pack the house and that is a wonderful feeling.

I recognize that these new friends can NEVER replace or even match the 25-year friendships from central Maine. But that is okay, because they don't have to. These are my Down East friends: different, vibrant, intelligent and unique. It will take years for me to get to know some of these folks well but isn't that going to be a fun process? Learning about a new person - their experiences and activities that make them who they are. Like the woman I met cashiering at the grocery store who I discovered is working on her masters in special education. See what I mean? Surprises and little joys! This is all part of this new journey.

And after the wonderful time I had last night, this journey seems to be going really well!!!

Happy Spring to you all - may the sun be shining on you wherever you may be. May you peek outside and find crocus or daffodils or tulips or robins. May the length of the day inspire you to go for one more walk. And when the cool nights help you snuggle under your covers and dream, I hope your dreams make you smile in the moonlight.....

My ship has finally come in....!!!

2010-03-12T15:21:00.001-08:00

Now isn't she beautiful - all decked out in shamrock green.....I can imagine sitting on her deck, watching a Downeast sunrise, sipping my black tea.......ahhhhhh.

I was a bit early for a meeting in Eastport this week so I took to wandering through a boat graveyard. There was something so mystical, almost other-worldly about these neglected, forgotten vessels. The was a majesty in their rust, their peeling paint, their empty decks. Who rode the waves on these boats? What did they carry - was it lobster or other seafood? Or maybe it was other cargo, people on vacation trying to get from here to there. My imagination wandered as I passed boat after boat. Empty and forgotten. Like this one - now who would feel confident sailing on a boat named "Iffy?"

Look at her wooden rudder, her tiny metal propeller...surrounded by rust and rot. Where did Iffy go? North? South? East? and where is her captain and crew....

The peeling paint and rust was sometimes as hypnotizing as the sea itself, creating patterns and swirls and whorls of beauty.

Rust buckets - what cargo did this monster hold? Tons of herring to ship to the sardine factories for canning?

The wind shreds an old tarp, once laid over this cabin to protect it from weather....

There is such beauty in this shredding paint, this peeling wood, the ravages of time.

The graveyard was quiet as the sun prepared to set. A gull would scream and then the silence would settle again, borne on a soft wind. They have served their captains well. Their crews have stormed the seas and made it safely back to port.

Rest in peace, my beauties. Rest in peace.

ah sun, oh beautiful sun

2010-03-05T04:26:00.001-08:00

There is a stranger in my home this morning. It began as a slight glow on the horizon, strengthened as its fingers slipped through the evergreens outside my window and finally poured into the studio.

The sun has returned.

Despite the wind and snow cover, the birds are busy being merry at the feeders - chickadees, juncos, sparrows and four soft gray mourning doves this morning. Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel, who have been exhibiting a lot of hanky-panky this past week, appear to be sleeping in. Even the little bit of snow on the feeders' roofs seems to glisten as it reflects the light.

I think I actually heard the houseplants on my desk sigh.....

This gift of sun is like food or water - it refreshes me, settles me, puts an instant smile on my face. As I search myself for a feeling, I recognize hope. Winter sucks me dry, stealing my spirit and taking away all hope of better days, longer days, more sun. I feel claustrophobic, trapped by icy roads or my fear of them.

So today I am almost giddy. The sun on my face is salve for my soul. I'm traveling to Pleasant Point, the reservation at Sipyak, for an annual Polar Bear Dip (No, I am not dipping!!) and then to a shellfish meeting and ending the night at the Cobscook Community Learning Center for a music and pizza night.

For now, though. I'll sit here with my steaming coffee, sipping in the brilliant shine of the sun. Ah sun, beautiful sun.

What is going on?

2010-03-03T00:23:00.000-08:00

It is now 3:23 a.m. and I am unable to sleep.

Sleeplessness is nothing I have ever struggled with - I'm the kinda gal who is sound asleep five minutes after I snuggle in bed. Occasionally I'll wake really early and be ready for the day, but I have no idea what is going on tonight or, I guess I should really say, this morning.

I tossed and turned for about two hours. Then I got up and walked around. Looked out the windows. Took the flashlight and checked to see if the skunk was in or out of his vacation home under my house. Watched infomercials for stuff I had no idea they even made (or that I needed so badly!) Went into the studio and primed two canvases. Sent a few emails. Studied the two new nautical charts of the Down East coastline.

Still I'm awake. WIDE awake.
So I think I'll plant some cucumber seeds and if I'm still not sleepy, I'm cleaning the refrigerator.

Anyone have any tips for a very sleepless night/morning?

furniture revealed...

2010-03-02T11:04:00.000-08:00

Emma has already claimed her favorite spot on the back of the couch - I need your feedback on this room. I'm getting the floor sanded and refinished. Do you think I should stay light? or go dark?

Here's the loveseat and the odd chair. Both are soooooooo comfy!

This sort of shows the whole room - t.v. is off camera to the left, and the furniture company is still searching for the missing yellow ottoman for the odd chair.

My weekend of painting went to hell but in a spectacular way! My son Russ drove up to Maine from New Jersey to buy a car that his Maine brother found for him. So of course I dropped everything and drove down to meet him. It was so good to see everyone and watch as Russell met his new nephew Karlin for the first time. We all went out to dinner and had a wonderful visit. Then I drove back to Machias Sunday morning and began cooking for Matt, Faye and Kiley's return from their six-day trip to Disney World. Kiley hasn't stopped talking about Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Daisy.. she was in heaven. They also went to Universal where Kiley met one of her favorites - Curious George! The weather was chilly but they had a ball.

Nothing but work, work, work ahead this week....town meetings, missing elderly man, high speed chases and arrests, fire at a boatyard...seems like it is all bad news.....good thing I can forget it all by napping on my new furniture!

of gulls and beaches and a very long drive...

2010-02-23T13:11:00.000-08:00

Now that is a BIG ship! See the tractor trailer to the right - it is dwarfed by the size of the ship. It was loading pulp from one of our paper mills to take to Japan. I drove one hour and 15 minutes in spitting snow to take this picture.
I actually went to the port in Eastport yesterday to do the interviews but the ship was delayed at sea and didn't get in until around midnight. So the return trip......and then I had to head to Lubec and cross the Roosevelt International Bridge to Roosevelt Park.

I was a bit early so I stopped at a small beach.
I walked a bit - it was debris covered from winter storms: kelp and rockweed, driftwood, bits of colored ropes off fishing vessels, shells, sponges.

Out in the water are salmon pens - large circular cages, each about the size of a half of a gymnasium, and the fish are raised inside. This attracts gulls and I surprised this flock on the beach. I could actually HEAR their wings as they rose.

When I returned home, I found TWO boxes of canvases that I had ordered last week. Oh boy - you know what I'll be doing every spare moment this week! My daughter and her family went to Florida this morning so it is going to be pretty quiet up here on Sweet Pea Cabin's hill....It is also supposed to be crummy weather. Just the atmosphere for painting......

So I started out to meet some ladies for breakfast....

2010-02-20T19:39:00.000-08:00

and ended up buying a chair, and then another chair and a couch, and then, while loading the first chair, the passenger side window of my NEW car suddenly slid down inside the door.

The only good things about this whole scenario are:

1. I was not even 1/2 mile from the dealership where I bought the car and they were ready to repair and very accommodating, although they have to order the motor part that makes the glass go up and down and so they used a piece of wood to wedge the window up and taped the edges to make it watertight. I look so white trash now...

2. I got some kick ass new furniture.

I'm starving.

2010-02-17T11:49:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here working.....my long-term piece on Lubec's fishermen is almost complete, there is a second story about the Port of Eastport and a third about migrant labor....and I am starving. At 6:30 I had a cup of coffee and two pieces of rye toast.

I had an iced coffee about noon.

See? This is the problem with working at home. I get so busy that suddenly I'm hearing my stomach rumble louder than Mount St. Helens and I've missed lunch and it is still three hours until dinner time....

Normally I would go scavenging for something quick: candy, snacks, a bowl of cereal, some noodles, or my very most favorite: a bag of Smartfood.

Okay, you've talked me out of it. I'm going to take the high road here and make a quick salad.
Then I'm going to Helen's tonight and stuff myself with a steak.

Oh yeah - rewards.

oooops

2010-02-13T08:17:00.000-08:00

My son-in-law Matt, who lives next door, said this morning that as he was trying to fall asleep last night some loud party music from a house nearby kept him awake.

Do I dare tell him it was his crazy mother-in-law in her new Jeep listening to the amazing sound system blast Led Zeppelin as performed by the London Symphony Orchestra?????

remember this little face from last spring?

2010-02-09T17:20:00.000-08:00

This was Kiley, about last July or so - just learning to love water at the UMM pool.
Well.....take a look at that little fish now!

She's swimming! She's got the kicking and hand movements down - she can even float and turn herself around in a circle using her legs.....amazing. She's 20 months now.

And she really loves the water...

She even thought it was pretty funny when she got stuck in the VERY stretchy top of her bathing suit! What a cutie patootie!

uh oh...it's snowing.

2010-02-03T08:51:00.000-08:00

As I awoke this morning to find snow on the ground and big flakes still wafting down, a feeling of doom surrounded me.

I was really scared. My accident has apparently affected me a bit deeper than I thought. I am absolutely terrified at the thought of driving anywhere today. How long will it take for this to pass?

This is a very special day in my life.....

2010-02-02T06:09:00.000-08:00

Thirty-two years ago a bundle of energy and sweetness, my third son, Daniel, was born. He arrived with a huge curiosity already in place and a zest for life that has never abated. He was a precious baby, a wonderful toddler, a challenging teen and now has become an amazing father. Along the way he broke rules, broke cars, snowmobiles and motorcycles, once or twice he broke himself, broke a few hearts...
Today he is a master plumber. He has built a beautiful home, stayed loyal to friends and family, works incredibly hard and many long hours, and has done it all HIS way. He is the guy that stops and helps turtles cross the road, gives a hurting friend his last dollar, and his laugh is a sound no one can forget.

Three years later, while preparing for Daniel's 3rd birthday party, I went into labor and delivered Faye (Jenny), my daughter. She arrived with eyes wide open, softness and beauty surrounding her. She was gentle and precious. As a little girl, she never got or gave enough hugs; she dressed her puppies in dolly clothes; and smiled at every turn. Her sweetness provided a balance in our family of five boys...Her sensitivity became our barometer. She is the glue that holds all her brothers together. She is an amazing mother to her daughter Kiley - I am in awe of her parenting skills. Today she has put her education degree on hold and owns a blues' themed deli and pizzaria. She is a part of her community and can be counted on for everything from a hug to a hot meal.

I am in awe of my adult children. They didn't always have it easy. There were times in our life together when we truly struggled - not just emotionally, but financially as well. They can tell stories - now with laughter - about needing sneakers, about eating rice and ketchup for supper, about getting only a 50-cent coloring book and crayons for a birthday gift.

But even these challenges shaped and molded them; taught them respect and honesty and gentleness; taught them never to take anything for granted, nor to look down on anyone who had less, from belongings to education; it taught them to share, to appreciate, and to forgive.

My children love with ALL of their hearts - unconditionally. They are good people with good values and common sense. My heart bursts and my eyes shine when I think of them.

So Ground Hog's Day holds a very special place in my heart - happy birthday, my two piglets. I love you more than all the stars in the sky, all the snow in Maine and all the tea in China. XXXX Mom

An accident...

2010-01-31T17:18:00.000-08:00

Most of you know by now that I totaled my beloved Chevy early Friday morning. My daughter Faye and I were in the car and are both alright. Bumps, bruises, some black and blues and stiffness but we will heal.
The car, however, is totaled. A complication I certainly didn't need right now.

We were on our way to a farmers' market convention in Belfast. The hotel room came with pool and hot tub and I offered Faye a little getaway from her role as wife, mother and restaurant owner. But Route 1 in Jonesport was ice covered and not sanded. Luckily, we were going only about 35 mph. I'm convinced that slow speed and our seat belts saved us.

As we approached a curve, a school bus came around the corner with yellow lights flashing. They immediately turned red and I barely tapped the brakes. We began fishtailing and for just the tiniest of moments, I really thought I brought it back under control. It slipped again, though, and we slid off the side of the road where there was a very steep embankment. We rolled completely over once and then half way again, landing on the passenger side of the car. Strangers who had been following us stopped and pulled us out of the car - they were there instantaneously and we can't thank them enough. They put us in their car to be warm while we waited for the police and a wrecker.

This was incredibly frightening. If I had been alone, I think it would have been easier, but to be responsible for my daughter and possibly hurting her and knowing that I scared her to death (she was so nervous that she vomited repeatedly after the crash - no, she never bumped her head. It was all nerves.) If she had been seriously hurt I could not have withstood it. Even though I have gone over and over the accident and know that I did nothing wrong - I wasn't speeding, we were belted, I was paying close attention to the road and the other cars - I still feel terribly guilty for putting my daughter through that.

We should hear from the insurance adjuster tomorrow about where to go next. Right now I have a rental and that last thing I wanted to be doing right now is car shopping - talk about stress. I have Tuesday off and I guess it will be spent test-driving.

Meanwhile, I will be thanking the universe over and over again for keeping us safe and virtually unharmed.

A few photos from the trip....

2010-01-27T06:46:00.000-08:00

Talk about a melting pot! This is the ATM near my son Russell's home. Here in Machias, we get two choices: English and French. I don't even know what all of these languages are!

Jackson Pollack at the Museum of Modern Art. I love his creations and was struck by the sheer size of them...

Diego Rivera...

Pablo Picasso...MOMA had several rooms of Picasso, an amazing, varied collection that really showed much more than just his lines and crazy faces....

And the best of all - the only painting in MOMA with its own guard: Van Gogh. This has always been my favorite painting of all time. I got tears in my eyes standing in front of it, seeing his brush strokes and the movement...absolutely unforgettable.

A view of the whale skeleton from above at MOMA.

How many kinds of omelets does your restaurant serve for breakfast? This was at the Brownstone Diner in Newark, which has been featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, and other programs on The Food Network. What a great place!

Taryn - what a sweetie!

My Russ - we were waiting in the subway and the lighting made everyone look ill.

This was a fabulous mosaic down in the subway tunnel. Please notice the HUGE dust bunny sitting on Maine.

We exited right through the spot where the World Trade Center buildings once stood. A very emotional experience...

And my last night in Connecticut - my grandsons James and Joseph after dinner and ice cream!

Now let you tell me about my REAL vacation:

2010-01-26T04:57:00.000-08:00

It began with a cold - probably the culprit is Miss Kiley, whose poor little nose is always running since she attends day care, a stew pot for germs.
I left home Thursday and by Saturday afternoon the cold was starting to rage.

Sunday it was full blown. I had NO appetite (A clear indication for me that something is very wrong) and a fever.

By Monday, I was back on the train for the return trip from New Jersey and really ill.
I arrived in Connecticut and spent the next two days in bed at my son David's. His wife Lori, herself recovering from surgery, brought me tea and tissues.

By Wednesday I knew things were worse and I had to head for home while I could still drive.
I got as far as Augusta - four hours - and knew I'd never make it to Machias.
I called my BFF Donna and she took me in, fed me cheese souffle and sometime in the night, my fever broke. But I was still really ill. The pressure in my sinus cavities felt like multiple toothaches.
I drove home and finally called Dr. Kathy on Friday. She prescribed antibiotics for my sinus infection but unfortunately it was a bit too late. About 4 a.m. my left eardrum burst.
Let me tell you, this has not been fun.

Excruciating is the word.

I am now on my last day of antibiotics and still congested, my right sinus is still solid and now I am deaf in my left ear. It has been ten days of this.......man I am exhausted. Puffs Plus and Tylenol have been my best friends and I must have consumed 43 gallons of various juices...
What a ruined vacation! At least getting to see Russ and Taryn in New Jersey was wonderful...details and pix tomorrow.

Part of my vacation was by train: the 143, Hartford to Newark

2010-01-25T11:07:00.000-08:00

It was a spectacular trip - I boarded at Hartford in darkness - it's a sibling handoff: my oldest son dropping me off so my youngest son can pick me up three states away - and as the sun comes up along the route, I watch the world unfold.
It is like looking under someone's kitchen sink or in a basement closet - this is not the pretty front door that towns show the world.
This is empty warehouses, smiling like toothless men because their windowpanes are missing.
This is junkyards and backyards,
A firetruck graveyard,
Bars on back windows and smokestacks and everything dressed in graffiti: initials, skulls and numbers.
Along the way, as the rails clack and the car sways, there are little glimpses of order:
tidy backyards with now dormant gardens, silent swingsets and small piles of dirty snow.

We stop at the stations: Meriden, Wallingford, New Haven, Bridgeport, Stamford and eventually, New York, and the conducter comes along through each car and announces the stops, just like in every movie you ever saw.

We pass tenements and electrical grids.
There are little swamps with ducks in clusters.
Billboards and litter, litter, litter everywhere - pressed against fences, tangled in webs of lovely orange bittersweet.

It's like each town we pass through has its dirty little secrets, its nastiness, its ooze and slime, and all the secrets are hidden down by the railroad tracks all mixed in with the architecture of the past: fine craftsmanship, impeccable masonry, glorious arched windows.

But it has all be abandoned. Rejected and replaced with cold, utilitarian metal boxes surrounded by parking lots surrounded by razor wire in the suburbs.

In New Haven, the 143 switches from a diesel to an electric engine. I noticed no difference when we start up again.
For a while, then, I95 keeps us company. We pass the Duchess Diner, Desi's Corner and Mario's Place. There goes Wally's Liquors and the Connecticut Food Bank. We click-clack past Eppy Computers, and the Greater Love Temple.
Most of the buildings have so long ago turned their backs on the railroad tracks that they have no signs indicating what they are or were.
We pass the Bonton Fish Market and at a Friehofer bakery, at least 200 tractor trailer trucks are lined up to deliver white bread for breakfast toast.
There are acres of metal drums and a surprising number of cemeteries. Do we think the sound of the trains soothes our dead?
There are squatters - shanty huts in the woods with blue plastic tarps for roofs and laundry frozen on makeshift clotheslines.
We keep clacking, past Firestone Tires and Learn-To-Dive with Captain Sam.

Then, between New Haven and New York, there's a surprise: dozens of large new condominiums and a small pine forest. An Audi dealership. But as quickly as it appears, it is gone as New York City approaches and the debris returns.

New York City doesn't loom from a distance, like spotting the Emerald City from the Yellow Brick Road. It just appears, slamming you in the face with its hugeness, its boldness, its raw presence. And boy, Toto, we sure aren't in Kansas. It's a landscape of buildings - like rows of corn in the midwest, buildings are the crop here. There is no end - they stretch forever.

One last stop: Penn Station in Newark and Russ telephones and tells me to look for him downstairs by the benches "that look like pews.'' He spots me first and enfolds me. I am crying since it has been so long since I've seen him, my baby. He feels like Russell should feel. He smells like Russell should smell. And even though I am a bazillion miles away from rural Maine, I feel so at home wrapped in his arms.

Off on an adventure....

2010-01-13T09:18:00.000-08:00

I'm headed to Connecticut, then New Jersey and New York City, then back to Connecticut, a couple of days in Pittsfield and then back home! I won't be posting here but wait til you hear of my adventures when I return!

I survived...barely.

2010-01-12T05:59:00.000-08:00

Boy yesterday was rough.

I made three women cry.

Well, life actually made them cry but I stuck a stick in their eye and made it worse.

I interviewed three women: two widows of fishermen lost at sea and the wife of an active fisherman. All for a large story I'm working on. How painful it was to have to ask them about the last hours with their husbands and how they learned their boats sank. And how incredibly painful for them to tell their stories.

The tears were for loss: these women obviously miss their husbands terribly and, at least in one case, aren't sure how to go on now. One couple met when she was 17 and he was 15 - love at first sight. They had been inseparable. "I didn't even get to say goodbye,'' she told me.

"I can't close my eyes. I see him floating,'' the other, who had been married for 28 years, told me as tears poured down her face. She still has a son that heads to sea every day to fish, fishing the same bay where his dad drowned.

This is the reality of life at sea; the life many Downeasters experience on a daily basis.

After the series of interviews, I drove to Eastport for two meetings but the day had drained me so emotionally that as I left Eastport, an overwhelming fatigue took me over. I called and canceled the story I was set to write last night (something I NEVER do) and will write it instead this morning. Now I'll go play with 60,000 salmon eggs and get a much-needed haircut.

I'll write four other stories today but you know those women's voices will still be throbbing in my ears....and in my heart.

I'm in for a rough day, I'm afraid.

2010-01-11T06:27:00.000-08:00

Today I start a series of interviews for a large project. It's a profile of Lubec and their fishing culture and how they survive the loss of so many men.

Today I interview two widows and a fisherman's wife, as well as a Dept. of Marine Resource patrol officer...

Wish me strength.

some accomplishments have been accomplished!

2010-01-09T09:23:00.001-08:00

YAY!! I finished the kitchen floor. This involved 2,457,097,597,120,345 hours on my knees and an extraordinary amount of horrible smelling, stick-to-everything-including my feet, hands, stove, counter and somehow, the bathroom sink - adhesive. I'm tooooo old to be on my knees! This is a commercial grade vinyl tile in a sand color - and I think it balances the shock of the green walls very well. When I return from vacation (I'm headed to CT, NJ and NYC next week) my dear handyman Terri will put down the newly painted molding.
Next summer I hope to replace that outdated wooden set of windows with a big French door out to the deck - now that will be nice!

Here's what I found at Hannaford's this week. TULIPS!!! IN JANUARY!!! Tulips fill my soul with hope and promise and I am so happy they grace my table...

And, coincidentally, or not so coincidentally, I finished Russ's tulip painting. The camera really washes out the colors but I assure you it has real richness and depth.

And lookie there - across to the end of my studio. See those three glowing rectangles?? That's HEAT baby, yeah! I'm still terrified of the damn thing - it has an open pilot light flame, but I'll put up with it so prevent my paints and my toes from freezing!

Off to Winter Harbor now to a fish industry workshop - the things I do....

an ode to propane

2010-01-07T13:13:00.000-08:00

oh toasty toes
oh warmed feet
the gas man came today at eight
he didn't even make me wait
the wonderful man
did a magical feat.
He turned a dial and left a treat!

heat, heat,
oh glorious heat.
the propane heater is glowing,
the warmth in the room is growing.
heat, heat,
oh glorious heat.

heat, almost!

2010-01-06T13:11:00.000-08:00

I finally gave up trying to work in my studio/office without any heat except what slithers in from my guest room. Mother Nature and 54 degrees in here have finally defeated me.
Dead River came today to bring me gas (as if I don't already have enough) and hook up the heater in the office.
There were two old tanks out there and the serviceman said one of them was from 1953! And you wonder why this house needs so much renovation....
Anyway, the man was delayed getting here cuz someone else ran out of heat and so I had to leave before he could hook up and test the heater. He was able to tell me, however, in a rambling 10 minute conversation, about how excited he was to see all the deer tracks around my house. Somehow that didn't help me get any warmer...

So...the sun is going down now, the chill is seeping back around my feet and I have to wait until tomorrow for real heat.
Oh Well, I guess I'll go to Eastport. If all else fails, go to Eastport. It is my personal solution for depression, goosepimples, lackluster hair, flatulence, an overcooked meatloaf and unfaithful friends. Go ahead and try it.

The beauty will astound you, even if your feet are cold.

pre-dawn is a good time for thinking

2010-01-05T03:48:00.000-08:00

It is just before 7 a.m. and the sun hasn't really risen. Oh, there are some perwinkle-colored stripes on the horizon, some lightening of the bank of clouds, but the for the most part it is still dark. My coffee is hot and good and warming me well.
All the houses on my street save one are still lightless. My closest neighbor, however, is warming up her car and will head out to work soon.

The crows are conversing noisily with each other - it's almost like they feel that since they are up and about, everyone else should be as well.

Yesterday I failed myself on the weight issues so I'm taking some time to regroup this morning. I ate a fine dinner - peanut sesame chicken, with lots of fresh vegetables (not packaged or take out, homemade), had two boiled eggs for breakfast, but fell right in the toilet with a fluffernutter for lunch. YIKES! No snacking after supper and no nibbling in between meals - that part was good. But no exercise either.

One day at a time. Take a deep breath. Refocus. Smile at the possibilities this day holds and move forward.

reflecting...

2010-01-04T09:09:00.001-08:00

Doing a lot of reflecting this week. New year, and all. Since I moved here in June, this was my first major snow storm in Sweet Pea Cabin. It was very snuggly and warm, with the wood stove roaring. And with the long windows on both sides of the living room, I felt absolutely surrounded by swirling snow. I slept in Sunday and that sweetheart Matt was already shoveling out my car and walkway.
It is easy to reflect on having Matt, Faye and Kiley next door. It is an incredible gift.
It is easy to reflect on having a new grandson, Karlin. He is precious.
It is the harder thoughts, thoughts about disappointments and letting go of toxic relationships, setting new goals, challenging myself - these are harder to face and deal with.
No resolutions. I don't keep them.
But I have made some "suggestions" to myself.
I spent much of Sunday cleaning out my office and studio. That's one of my suggestions. A cluttered workspace tends to clutter my mind. I need simple, easy, plain.

I painted a bit - another "suggestion" - give myself more time to paint. I'm working on a special one for my son Russell and his sweetie Taryn. I wasn't happy with it - I think I was trying to hard to paint what I thought THEY would like. Now I've taken control back and I'm painting what my heart says. If they don't like it, they can always hide it under the bed....until I come visit!

Dealing with my weight - of course that is a STRONG suggestion - I struggle every day with this. Now I think I'm getting close to really compromising my health. Somehow I have to find a different way, a different relationship with food. How do you feel satisfied, fulfilled without overdoing it, eating the wrong things, making the same mistakes over and over? All year I said "next week" "next month" "after vacation" and finally "after Christmas.'' Getting more exercise and making good choices were put off time and time again. Taking control isn't easily accomplished, for me. I know I need to change not just what I eat and what I do, but how I FEEL about what I eat and do. This is hard work and I'm still gearing up for it....

gorgeous - simply gorgeous...

2009-12-30T17:00:00.001-08:00

This is where I live - can you imagine? Head of Harbour Light on Campobello Island....

The same morning, an abandoned weir off the island.

Can you imagine that I get paid to go to places like this??????? Shhhhh, don't tell my bosses!

Projects: completed and under way and yet to do...

2009-12-29T06:30:00.000-08:00

Well, I have finally begun the kitchen floor and it is not a moment too soon! I was incredibly lucky that the old vinyl tiles practically popped right off, leaving a clean subsurface for the new ones. Now I can get to my refrig, stove but not the sink. Hopefully, I'll get a bunch more on today. The flash washes out the colors - making that wall look at bit minty - yet I assure you it is very lime green - so the tiles are actually a soft sand color. Gives the eye a place to rest in a busy kitchen....

Bedroom floor has had all subfloor removed and is now painted a crisp white with mild green stripes...they don't look green because again, the color is washed out. Eventually this will be a solid wood floor but that is not in this year's budget....patience!

Remember that dark cave of a guest room with the 1940's wallpaper??? Well it has been painted a light clay color and it brightened it up beautifully. All that is left in here is tiling the floor - not sure if I want to go light or dark....probably light. What do you think?

Coming up: the living room floor. Here is my new rug, a Christmas present to myself! I love it - it is so much fun. The flooring underneath is oak and will need to be sanded. Although I have done all the work that I've showed you myself, this job I think I will hire out. And I'll wait until summer when we can open all the windows!

Christmas was spectacular - still processing how much fun and meaning was wrapped up in the weekend before with my friends, and Christmas with family. Kiley was a joy to watch: when I asked her Christmas morning if Santa had come, she said No, the monkeys came! What goes on in that little head. She has become fascinated with penguins and has named her new fish Penguin...what fun. Her speech has suddenly jumped ahead quite a bit: she is talking in complete sentences and really expressing herself - "Silly Queenie" she says when I do a dance or act a bit nutty. She also has suddenly become very possessive - not wanting to share her food, dollies or toys. But she is also giving the tightest, best feeling hugs in the world!

The most exciting news is that in three weeks I'm headed to Connecticut to see my son David and his wife Lori, my sweet sisters and brothers, and then to New Jersey to visit my youngest son Russell and his sweetie, Taryn. I'll be meeting Taryn's family for the first time (PRESSURE!!!) and then I'll head back to Pittsfield for a little more time with friends. I think I have the right idea - stretch this holiday out for a month or so!

The snowmen have arrived.....There are the traditional little stuffed ones:

2009-12-17T18:11:00.000-08:00

There are long-legged, funny hat wearing snowmen...

There are gawky snowgirl angels, framed by Jack Frost touched windows...

I really love those with the 1940s paper mache and glitter ones, like this silly snowman with his ruffle and bells, welcoming winter.

This is my dearest - look at that face. And I die everytime I see his little hat made from music sheets - another 1940s replica.

And of course, what would Christmas be without a tree - or three?

My shopping is done, all are wrapped except to add the ribbons at the last minute, and tomorrow I finish some last minute projects before heading off to central Maine and vacation. There is a cookie party, a bonfire solstice party, some girl-talk time, the annual Goddess Gathering and breakfast with two of my dearest, bestest friends. In between I'm getting new tires on the car, my eyes examined and a tooth repaired...

On Tuesday I head back home for my first Christmas in my little Sweet Pea Cabin. And on Christmas Eve afternoon, we'll all go to Tide Mill Farm and sing Christmas Carols to the cows...and of course drink hot chocolate and eat cookies!

If I'm lucky and get a few projects done, I might have TWO rooms completely finished before the new year. I lovely boy - so nice to look at - removed the old floor in my bedroom this morning so it is just a matter of a bit of paint and sewing two valances and that room is finito - finally.
I'm about eight floor tiles away from completing the bathroom. Got to move the toilet and then reset it to accomplish this one though...need Matt's help. My goal is to have four rooms finally completed by the end of January. And the lovely boy is available to help me tile the spare room and the kitchen...no broken knees for me! It sounds daunting but I've saved most of these projects for the winter because I couldn't help but be outside and at the beach all summer..... ah summer. Hard to feel it tonight, with the wind blowing the pines and the temperature below zero.

I'm so glad I have a hot wood stove to snuggle up to.

Lots of pictures today - First the paintings from the art/jewely show:

2009-12-14T13:01:00.000-08:00

Tall Red House - SOLD! (All of the colors in the paintings appear a bit washed out because of the flash - sorry.)

Row of Houses - SOLD!

Pair of herring school - SOLD!

Very large School of Herring - SOLD!

And then there was the jewelry - how many necklaces are too many? You can NEVER have too many, sez Carla....check it out!!! Trudy's jewels are so beautiful! No plastic or elastic here.

The first snowfall was a doozy - Faye shows her little one how to make a snow angel...

And little Kiley was a bit overwhelmed. It was too much for the first one - she couldn't really walk in it. Every time she fell down she said "Again! Help" and her snowsuit wouldn't allow her to get herself back up. So cute...

And another thing...

2009-12-02T12:54:00.000-08:00

How incredibly wonderful is it to live in the place where I can buy organic fresh eggs, Sherwin Williams Paint, a cast iron skillet AND Finnish licorice at my local Machias Hardware Store???

I love this place.

my marvelous weekend !

2009-11-30T12:24:00.001-08:00

Is there anything cuter in this entire world than baby toes???

These are Karlin's. We went to visit him and his parents Saturday because my nephew David and his wife Cassie drove up from Connecticut. They really surprised me by bringing my sister Robin! I only get to see her a couple of times a year and I miss her so, so much. It was such a terrific surprise!

While visiting Karlin, Kiley got to ride in a miniature horse cart with her "Poppi" who lives right next door.

This is Jonesport Harbor Sunday night - the pink on the water was a reflection of one spectacular sunset! The nearly full moon carefully watched over everything. Jonesport and its sister harbor, Beals Island, are working fishing communities where 80 percent of the population earns its livelihood from the sea, mostly fishing lobsters. For those of you who live away from Maine, those are lobster pots on the pier.

The lighting even colored this collection of dinghies.

And painted the sky with oranges and reds...it was way prettier than the picture reflects.

This was the reason I was in Jonesport Sunday night - a flotilla of lobster boats all decorated with Christmas lights. A woman on one of the boats was singing Christmas carols and the lights on the water, her voice floating over all, was just incredible. Talk about getting in a holiday mood -

I got to ride on the U.S. Coast Guard lifeboat and I must say I was a bit nervous when I discovered that the four young people piloting the boat were just 21!!!! They were very sweet, however, and promised to save me if we sank. (Which we didn't, I'm sure you have figured out.) It was freezing on the boat, which was all open to the weather, but I didn't complain. I have turned into a real boat whore: rev the engine and I'll jump on board. I love the smell and sounds of the sea; the colors; everything about it! And to be out in the harbor in the dark was a special treat. Everything on land looks completely different - the hills, the buildings, the lights. What a great adventure.

pictures! lots of pictures!

2009-11-22T10:08:00.000-08:00

Friday with my new little Karlin Thomas was wonderful - he has a sweet disposition, eats like a starving elephant, burps like Roseanne, and has the sweetest smile. We discovered that he really loves "Farmer in the Dell" - !! Today, Faye, Matt and Kiley drove down for the day to get their own snuggle time.

Shopping on Saturday was great - here are my bestest, bestest friends: Kathy, me, Trudy and Donna. We had lunch at a fabulous Mediterranean restaurant and I've nearly finished my holiday shopping. Also got a spectacular new mirror for my bathroom, some kick ass Finnish licorice, and a whole pile of new canvas.

Just loved this door....

The art walk was fabulous - here is the view of downtown Bangor from one of the galleries/studios. We visited dozens of studios and I saw art that absolutely inspired me. My head was swirling all night with ideas, colors.....

This is the chicken at Bohemian Moma Bakery that apparently likes to visit the rosemary!

I got up this morning and began painting and painting and painting....have three wet canvases in various stages and a huge one that I'm very excited about. It is progressing so well! Pictures tomorrow - got to get back to work. It has been so long since I just started the day with a good breakfast and then hit the studio - not thinking about anything else, just blocking out the whole world, and feeling like I am accomplishing so much. Sort of drowning in paint and color. As I type, my hands are covered: orange, lime green, a bit of yellow and one small dot of blue.

Here was the view from my office desk this morning...How does it compare to yours?

2009-11-20T04:35:00.000-08:00

She visits every morning, sometimes alone and sometimes with another, smaller female. I'm getting very attached to her and look forward to seeing her each day. Cross your fingers that she makes it through hunting season.....

Today is the first of four days of non-stop fun!

2009-11-19T12:34:00.000-08:00

I have been working waaaay to hard - so I had only a half day today and then met with my Writing Sisters of the Kick Ourselves in the Ass Club. We met at the Bohemian Moma's Bakery - need I say anything more???

Tomorrow I head to Detroit (Maine) to play with my newest grandson, Karlin, YAY YAY and YAY, and then meet friends in Bangor for the annual art studio tour and a pub visit! On Saturday a.m., I'm meeting more friends in Ellsworth for our yearly shopping-for-ourselves-while-we-pretend-to-shop-for-others extravaganza!

Sunday a.m. I am beginning to tile the bathroom floor - I'll post pix!
Could this be any better of a line up?
WAHOO! Let the fun begin!

oh allergies! oh allergies!

2009-11-17T12:40:00.000-08:00

Well it turns out the very medicine we had all been forcing down Kiley's throat for her ear infection was one she was allergic to - it was actually making her sicker!

Today = new medicine = sleeping 12 hours through the night = a happy baby.

Finally, oh joy!

Well, it will be back to the doctor's office tomorrow.

2009-11-15T11:05:00.000-08:00

Look at that poor sick little girl and her fever-struck red lips...how miserable is she?

We seem to just be passing the germs around and around and around here. First me, then Matt, then Kiley and Faye. Then we all seem to get better and then Matt gets sick again. Now poor little Kiley.
Last week's fever turned out to be an ear infection (she told her mom she had a bug in her ear!) and once the meds kicked in, she almost seemed her same old self.
Until about 1 a.m. this morning. She awoke with the fever again and is so listless and sick.
I think it is her throat now as she is visibly cringing when she swallows.
I wish the weather was a bit colder - we could turn off the heat, open all the windows and kill all the rotten germs we seem to be passing around....

ooooooooooo somebody is sick...

2009-11-12T12:50:00.000-08:00

Faye just brought Kiley to my door on their way to the pediatrician's office. She woke this a.m. (2 a.m. to be exact) with a 103 degree fever and although there has been some cooling off and on throughout the day, she appears worse this afternoon.

It is so hard to see them sick: she is such a lively, active little girl and she is just so listless with her flushed cheeks and her bright red lips. You can tell it hurts her to swallow and so it has been pedialite frozen pops all day and Tylenol...

Sorry, I got distracted!

2009-11-09T14:56:00.000-08:00

Introducing Karlin Thomas Mack - one day old. My son Danny and my daughter-in-law Amanda had him last night at 10:05 p.m. 7 pounds 20 inches long and perfect. I didn't make the birth because she went so quickly. Amanda was put on bed rest three months ago and she has been incredible - no matter how bored or scared or worried she got, she did exactly what her doctors told her to.
And look at the perfect result!!! I spent the day nuzzling and smelling and hugging and kissing him. I got to feed him and darn near kidnapped him when I left......This is happiness. AHHHH.

I'm painting!

2009-11-08T09:35:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow I'll post some photos that show a painting in progress...but for now, I'm having so much fun that I'm not going to stop!

Look at this cute little face....but don't be deceived!

2009-11-06T07:31:00.000-08:00

Hello. My name is Anthony the Awful. And Yes, I am sitting right inside your bird feeder.

I dazzle you with my good looks - my big brown eyes. My cute little hands. My big bushy tail.
And then I attack.
I tear apart your bird feeders, ripping the plastic apart like it was a Vanilla Wafer.
I fight with my brothers, banging off the side of the house as I drive your dog to distraction, and I knock everything down.

What? You think tapping on the window will drive me out of the flat bird feeder?
HA and another HA
I'm not afraid of you, you silly woman.

After all, I am Super Squirrel. Leader of the Pack. King of the bird food station. I laugh at your attempts to feed the stupid little chickadees, or the sad little mourning doves, and even the noisy bluejays.

You can't stop me. I am an eating machine. And I'm here to stay.
Now get your ass out here and fill this feeder back up. And bring a couple of those apples too.

I love my buying club!!

2009-11-05T12:49:00.000-08:00

A bowl full of fresh carrots - liberally sprinkled with sea salt from the Narrows at Lubec and fresh cracked black pepper...

A panful of brussells sprouts sauteing in butter and oil, and soon to be finished off with a splash of fresh squeezed lemon...

Every week, I get an email telling me what the special offerings are for the upcoming week and I email my order back. It couldn't be simpler: the email arrives each Thursday and I have until Saturday night to make my choices.
About six farmers participate in my buying club and so there is a wide range of produce and products. I can get fruit spreads, cow and goat milk, artisanal goat cheeses, organic meats, lobsters, all kinds of veggies, handmade breads, and even natural soaps. I can buy as little as a pound or as much as a gross. I pick up my order each Tuesday at a nearby coordinator's home and I pay $1 for the handling of the order. Fresh from the farms that very morning!!!!

These glorious veggies were part of last week's order. Today I ordered Spicy Rye Bread (which is so dark and contains raisins and nuts), ricotta, and frozen blueberries.

Eat your hearts out.....yummmmmmmy.

here's a riddle: what could be worse than

2009-11-04T16:32:00.001-08:00

first, breaking a big toe (right before a big walking trip),

and then going to a Haunted House and catching the flu and ending up in bed for 4 days,

and then having that flu fly up into your head as a full blown head cold,

and then staying up til 2 a.m. counting ballots when the entire F'ING state votes the WRONG WAY,

and then having to ride around Cobscook Bay the next morning in an open boat when it is 41 degrees?

What could be worse than all that?

Waking up this morning with a giant stye on my left eyelid.

Please. please... just shoot me now.

It was a great Hallowe'en party!

2009-10-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

Nikki (Cianchette) Steeves drove up to Machias from Pittsfield with her two adorable (and extraordinarily sweet and well behaved) boys for a special Halloween celebration with my daughter. The two "girls" were schoolmates and have remained close. There was pizza, a scavenger hunt and lots of making scary faces! Cole was a vampire and Drew was The Hulk, but had to forgo his mask because it scared Kiley!

It took him a while to figure out how to get the stem, but Drew did well in the apple dunking contest.

Cole plowed right in and went under - he was a bit tentative about biting, though - he has a loose tooth in the front!

Even my daughter Faye got in on the act!

And here is Kiley's booty: She thought it was much more fun to grab an apple from the water, eat a bit of it and then go for another. Not a bad idea after all....

cranberries galore!

2009-10-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

Aren't they beautiful?? I went to a harvest this week and it was so interesting: men and women in waders, waist deep in 47 degree water, and the berries were so beautiful. Berries grown in Maine are three times the size of others and a much darker red...Yummy. I swear I would eat dog poop if it had cranberries in it. My favorite? Cranberry Orange Marmalade....wow.

What a week: a stabbing, a trial for two boys accused of beating some other kids because the other kids are Indians, and a WHOLE bunch of other stuff. I'm not complaining though - some of my dear friends had to literally lock themselves in their homes because there was a manhunt for a killer in their neighborhood...Luckily they caught the guy nonchalantly having a cup of coffee this morning in a nearby restaurant. Clearly looney....

Today and this weekend are likely to be just as hectic. They still haven't found the two missing fishermen and I'm headed back to court today to deal with forgers!!!

Here I am ! Thanks for all your kind words....

2009-10-25T11:32:00.000-07:00

This is my daughter, Faye, getting a tattoo from Tom - more on that later.

Friday actually was quite special. I was able to turn off and put away my little light in the window that I keep lit for Eric, who has been serving with the Army in Afghanistan. That handsome sergeant left Thursday night for the good old U.S.A.!!! He'll be home soon and I can't wait to get my hands on him!! We thought he wasn't going to be back until between Thanksgiving and Christmas so this is even more special.

In an effort to put that rotten week behind me, my daughter and I went on a shopping day in Ellsworth. No baby, no husband, just the two of us - I think it was the only time we've been just a pair in the 18 months since she had Kiley!

We had a ball - we hit Mardens first: great items!!! I got three new tops and a jacket, two new Halloween decorations and a Halloween book for Kiley that plays creepy sounds and I didn't spend $50!! We then went to Reny's and scored new winter mittens, etc., and some amazing malted milk balls covered with expresso and latte - oh my goddess, they are heavenly! We went to Home Depot and I got that puffy stuff that you seal up cracks with?? Wish me luck, I am attempting to seal the skunk out of my crawlspace tonight. I have already sprinkled flour around the hole so I'll know when he leaves, I have a dozens rocks that I'm going to fill the hole and pile on top and then I'll seal the whole thing with the puffy stuff. I also have a pile of golf balls waiting so that if he returns, I can pelt him and scare him away. If this doesn't work, I'm moving...

Our last stop on the shopping spree was Tom's Terrific Tattoos. I got the crown put on my little girl, officially making her a Queenie, and Faye got a sprinkling of stars that start up high on her shoulder and go to the front. Each star represents a family member and is the color of their birthdstones. It came out beautifully!

It poured on the way home and the wind and rain POUNDED all night but today is gorgeous - we spent much of the morning finishing outside chores to get ready for winter. I smashed my left pointer finger with the hammer - oooooo it is a ghastly shade of black and red - but we got so much done. Now I'm putting the finishing touches on my dinner. Faye and Matt and Kiley are coming over and I'm making a special caramel pudding cake for Matt since he not only let the dog out yesterday while we were gone, but he kept filling my woodstove so the house would be all warm and cozy. Now this is the kind of son-in-law everyone should have!!

Can't post tonight. I'm broken hearted.

2009-10-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

I spent the day talking to sea urchin fishermen who are mourning the loss of three of their colleagues.

The Bottom Basher sank late yesterday in Cobscook Bay taking three young men with her to the bottom. One body has been recovered.

I am numb as is the entire Down East fishing community. This makes the sixth loss at sea in 11 months.

Quebec is a city full of art!

2009-10-14T06:34:00.000-07:00

Even the garage doors are masterpieces - stupendous! Quebecians take advantage of every little space to bring art and beauty into their lives. There were tiny rooftop gardens, little backyard sanctuaries, and the window boxes were extravagant and still in bloom. The old city is enclosed in a wonderful stone wall - this is where the British and French fought with Canada as the prize - and even though the French lost, it is the predominant language. The beauty of the people, their language and their ways makes a visit oh so special.

Their ability to fine beauty everywhere obviously extends to the food - here at a restaurant called Largo - fabulous staff, unbelievable food. This is an olive tartine...

Even a simple Cobb Salad is divinely presented...

A little chocolate shop offered these amazing desserts....

And of course there is art at the Museum of Quebec - this chandelier, made completely of mismatched cups, saucers, dessert plates, candy dishes, etc., all in colored glass strung with fishing wire was so inspiring...

Even a simple door becomes art...

Or a light that represents a sea urchin.

Art, friends, wine - what more could I ask? We had a ball - we walked and ate and visited and laughed. All 11 of us enjoyed the weekend. Even the 4 1/2 hour ride up was entertaining because we had walkie-talkies in the three car caravan. Each evening, exhausted by all the walking up and down the hills of the old city, we gathered in my hotel room. We purchased salami, prosciutto, cheeses, olives, pate, fruit and candy at an amazing French market and then fig bread at a nearby bakery. We talked and laughed until we all began falling asleep.

Over and over this weekend I was struck by how fortunate I was to have this group of friends. They are smart - they are funny - and they are so dear to me. They are kind and caring, students of the world and loyal friends. I will save up each memory of this weekend and hold it close all winter long....

A vacation week...

2009-10-07T13:53:00.000-07:00

Heading out tomorrow to spend a day and night with my dear friend Sue on Unity Pond before she heads to Florida for the winter....
All those chairs the artists decorated will be auctioned off Friday night, and then Saturday morning 11 of us good friends leave for Quebec City. Oui oui - it is a French vacation for me!
I'll post when I can but be assured I may be in a food and wine induced coma.

The tax man went DOWN!

2009-10-06T15:23:00.000-07:00

I met with the Machias assessor today - he had revalued my home at $30,000 more than I paid for it, based on faulty information. He was able to remove two bedrooms that I don't have, a 1/2 bath that I don't have, a full basement that I don't have, remove the deck as it is dangerously decrepit, and since the kitchen and bathroom haven't been redone since the 1950s, mark them as "not modern.'' The result? He dropped $14,000 off my assessment, cutting my taxes by nearly $300.

Not bad.

Thank you Trudy. Sometimes it really does pay to speak up for yourself.

I am never swimming in the ocean again!

2009-10-05T15:43:00.000-07:00

I was on a sea urchin dragger today - for those of you not from Down East, sea urchins are spiny little mollusks, about the size of a small apple, that crawl along the bottom of the ocean eating seaweed with a beak on their underside.
When cracked open, they reveal a bright orange-colored roe called "uni" in Japan, where it is an expensive delicacy.
Just 10 years ago, urchins were considered a nuisance but after the Japanese fished out their own urchin, they turned to Maine, Russia and China for a new supply. The critters are now worth around $2 a pound and the Cambodian importers were meeting the boats right there on the dock this afternoon. The guy whose boat I went on got $4,000 for just today's harvest.

So, I was on this urchin dragger and when the basket is opened up and dumps its contents on a big work table at the back of the boat OH MY GODDESS what unGoddessly creatures there were to behold:
There were sea cucumbers, a shapeless thing that sort of looks like a cucumber on steriods that can puddle itself into a black, slimy pancake. oh so gross.
There were sea caterpillars, all hairy and tentacley on one side, and all fleshy and ribbed on the other. an even worse gross.
There were unknown and unnamed things that looked like a big giant snot and then small red and white critters that looked like a shrimp gone beserk.
There were also rocks, lovely starfish, small green crabs (which eat the urchin and so the deckhands stepped on each and every one of them) and scallops that sat and clacked their big shells open and shut.
We were only in about 31 feet of water. I am never sticking even so much as a toe in the ocean again now that I now those disgusting creatures are so close to shore.
NEVER.
I just know I'm going to have nightmares tonight....

The Cardinal Family: who knew?

2009-10-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

Here is Mr. Cardinal - I call him Red - watching carefully from the branches of the evergreen next to all the feeders.

Here is his daughter, Coral Cardinal, boldly gazing back at me while eating the seeds that have spilled on the ground.

And here is the son, Rusty Cardinal, who is completely ignoring me today....All these pictures were taken at the same time: I have a cardinal family that visits my feeder center several times a day. Who knew that cardinals were so family-oriented? There is papa - so gorgeous in his brilliant red coat; mama, a soft brown with touches and hints of red and a pretty feather sticking up on the top of her head; and the kids, at this point I think there are two females and a male but they move back and forth so quickly I may be counting someone twice.

They come in and hide in the brushy limbs of the evergreens and then jump down to get all the seeds off the ground that the chickadees and nuthatches have dropped from the feeders.

Twice or three times a day they visit: parents watching from the branches, kids much more brazen about eating. Is this normal, for a bird family to take outings to the local drive-in together? I really thought that birds were solitary creatures....

I may be projecting but from my desk, but the view outside my window of this family coming to visit is the highlight of my day.

wounded and barely walking...

2009-09-30T04:34:00.000-07:00

Last weekend Kiley stayed with me while her mom and dad got a bit of a weekend away in Bar Harbor. We had a ball! We went to the library for a bug show, visited the playground at the nearby school, washed windows, picked up pine cones in the yard and had a feast on grilled cheese sandwiches.
But on Sunday afternoon, I did it again. Ms. Clumsiness personified went into the attic to get the Halloween decorations and in my rush to hurry back down the stairs to show Kiley, I fell. I broke my big toe. Actually, I cracked the area at the base right where my poor bunion is.
Damn this hurts. ouch. ouch. ouch.
I've been icing it and taking Tylenol (the ER doc told me that any other pain product inhibits the healing of bones - did you know that???)
I did too much Monday and paid dearly. My foot looked like it belonged to the Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man. Yesterday I behaved myself and it was much better, although it has turned all black and gray. It still keeps waking me up throughout the night but it better be completely healed for the gang's upcoming trip to Quebec City!!!

Work has been amazing this past week - I found a new trail and beach: Bog Brook Preserve in Trescott. So incredibly isolated and beautiful. I will be bringing ALL my visitors to this one. Interviewed two guys who used to sell fish off the back of a truck and are now launching a national seafood product...and drove to Eastport to interview scallop fishermen (In case you want to know, I got it from the fishermen's mouths that it absolutely is pronounced SCOLLOP.)

I also got unbelievably lost trying to find a fatal tractor accident. The road dispatchers indicated was not on any map or in Google so I headed out blind and kept calling my photo department, other reporters, photographers, even our secretary to help me find my way. Of course I lost my cell signal every three feet so it became really challenging, to say the least.
I ended up on the back of the radar site in Columbia in the blueberry barrens when I should have been miles to the east in the woods. Eventually I spotted a rescue worker and followed him in. A poor young man had lost control of a farm tractor and tipped off the side of a wooden bridge (with no side rails) and ended up crushed under the tractor in the water.

The setting was incredibly beautiful - just feet away was a spectacular waterfall and this lovely bubbling brook was shrouded by autumn colors on the trees....so often I am struck by the raw horror of events that take place in some of the most spectacular environments. It seems so wrong, so inappropriate somehow. We all know that bad things happen to good people...as unacceptable as that is, it is insult to injury when the setting is beautiful. I've stood in peaceful woods while police recovered bodies; by the side of a lovely river, while accident victims were pried from their mangled cars; under flowering apple trees when firefighters collapsed and died at house fires.

I suppose I can find some peace in that if this horrible thing had to happen, let it happen in beauty. But it seems so oppositional - death should not visit in lovely places. It should not walk in gardens; alongside babbling brooks; near stunning waterfalls. It should creep through dark alleys that are littered with stinking garbage....

I am also finding that it takes longer and longer for me to spiritually get past one of these accidents. This boy was 21...what an incredible waste.

Today I have an a.m. interview with an amazing music professor and an afternoon story at a large animal rescue farm. And I'm looking forward to Friday - taking a pottery lesson at a nearby learning center. yay!

Going, going, almost gone.

2009-09-23T14:20:00.001-07:00

I stopped by my favorite beach today after lunch. I sat for a bit and read, wearing long pants and a sweater. The sun warmed my face and I slid my bare feet along the hot sand.

But it won't last. As I tucked my beach chair into the back of the car, I wondered how long before it is replaced with the snow brush and scraper.

Even the beach roses appear to have shrunk, as if in readiness from the cold onslaught from the sea. Only a blossom or two can still be found and the rose hips are red and ripe and full.

Last night I heard an owl and then the haunting sounds of geese flying overhead.
It's time to settle in; time to await the cold, the wind, the solitude winter brings out in me.
For me, this is a sad time. A tipping point - waiting on the edge of winter. And mourning the loss of summer.

The amazing walk....

2009-09-21T16:23:00.000-07:00

Look at the people!!! There were more than 5,000 people - men, women, children and one crazy guy who painted his entire self pink - in the Race for the Cure Sunday in Bangor. Eight of us - nine including Kiley - were the Tu Tus for Ta Tas team. We raised more than $500 and I still can't get over how good I feel!

Here's the amazing team: workers at the Fat Cat Deli, my daughter's business, sons and boyfriends (my son in law behind the camera) myself and Kiley - perfect weather and perfect company.

Just when my feet started to hurt and I thought about complaining, I spotted this guy and said there was no way I wasn't finishing all 5K - and I did! Today my hips hurt a bit and my feet were killing me last night but it was worth every step.

On the backs of walkers/runners were the people they were walking for. I wrote the names on my sleeve: Babe Mack, Beth Hathaway, Brenda Beal, Sherry Thomas.

And this was how Kiley felt when the walk was over and we were enjoying a great dinner at the Texas Roadhouse - a great day!

ahhhh the beauty of art and artists...

2009-09-20T16:20:00.000-07:00

It was a breezy and chilly Saturday. Even the seagulls huddled on the breakwater at Lubec. It was this coastal town's fall festival and a whole bunch of brave vendors lined Main Street: homemade jewelry, homemade sweaters, felted purses, little girls' dollies, extraordinary photography, dried sea grass wreaths... It was really nice and I bought a beautiful, funky pair of glass earrings.

My friend Chessie and I left the fair and headed on the Two Countries, One Bay art tour....45 different artists along Down East's most northern coast and around Cobscook Bay.

We visited four in Lubec: the glass artist, an assemblage artist (I didn't care for hers), a gallery full of wonders and an amazing, fabulous potter and weaver. I may be taking weaving lessons this winter! Her work is extraordinary and an inspiration...

Then, we crossed the FDR bridge onto Campobello and went to several more artists there. Chessie then showed me some beautiful beaches and hiking trails in Provincial Park, across from FDR's summer home and camps. The park is immaculate, with lovely viewing platforms, incredible views and wonderful beaches. To get to the different beaches you drive through woods where the trees have grown as a canopy, creating tunnels of the roads. I can't imagine how incredible it would look in the winter. Each little road off one of these "tunnels" brings you to another special spot: Sunshine Beach, Raccoon Beach, Friar's Head.....amazing. I can't wait to show my friends and family some of these places next summer!

It was a day of inspiration and regeneration. I haven't painted much (except walls!) since I've been here and I really needed to recharge my batteries. I have a half dozen ideas swirling in my head now. I just need to find the time! I've also been asked to teach a late-winter art class at Senior College at the University of Maine here in Machias. Stella needs to get her groove back!

Sunday was the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Bangor - more than 5,000 of us. Our little team - The Tu Tus for Ta Tas - numbered nine, counting Kiley, and we wore tu tus for all 5K. Can't wait to show you the pictures tomorrow...it was so moving and impressive and meaningful.

Now I have to go soak my feet.....
Just a bit of color for you - some flowers in pots on one of the artists' porches Saturday. Thought you could use a bit of springtime as autumn bears down on us.