this is harder than I thought!

I'm having a bit of a hard time this week with gratitude.
So today I will only say that I'm grateful for the delicious cornbread served at lunch.

That's all.

gratitude, continued.

Today I am grateful for the poor man from DishTV that has been up and down on my roof, in and out of my livingroom, emptied every single tool and receiver out of his truck, and is still here trying to install Dish service.

He got here at 7 a.m. It is now ten minutes to three.

The poor dude.

The glass is half full.

Today I interviewed a lovely woman who is dedicating her life to positivity.
You know, that elusive state of mind where you see the good and reject the bad.
Not an easy task. Negativity seems to surround us - the clerk at the store is grumpy and foul-tempered.
A family member misinterprets a conversation.
Television shows are full of murder and mayhem, even the comedies.

I've been thinking all day about how hard it is for me to see the positive aspects of many of the situations and stories I find myself writing about.
How can anything positive come from the death of an entire family, including a four year old, in a car crash? How can three young men drowning at sea carry even a breath of positivity? or fires? or drug incidents, or any number of bad news events. Some days it seems as though I wallow in bad news and some days that is very difficult to withstand.

And then I found myself thinking of that sweet, violin playing Rutgers freshman that jumped from the George Washington Bridge.
An indisputable tragedy, for certain.

But look at the national conversation it has started.
People are actually talking about kindness and acceptance. They are talking to each other. They are posting on Facebook, having conversations on talk radio and television news. College campuses are holding vigils and seminars on acceptance.
Could all of this outcry of wrongness over this suicide and what led up to it possibly churn off a little positive energy? Could it spark a tempest of outrage?

Could one young man or woman who feels outcast - different than their peers - could one person feel a little hopeful?

Could one person feel less alone, less stigmatized, less shunned?

Could one person who has been hateful begin to understand what it feels like to be different than the rest of the crowd?
Could one person who has been hateful begin to understand the implications of their actions and thoughts? The implications of a limp-wrist joke? The power of insults, name calling, derision?

And, taking it just a small step further, could that person's viewpoint and actions shift - actually shift - away from hate to acceptance, to a place of actual caring?

The woman I interviewed this morning suggested everyone start a Gratitude Journal and every day list three things to be thankful for.
Today I am thankful for L, J, A, V and D, who have shown me that courage wears many faces.
Today I am thankful that the world is at least paying attention to the loss of one young man who had to fly from a bridge to find peace.
And today I am thankful that a conversation has begun in many dark corners about acceptance.

Sincere apologies - I have been remiss.

I have been so busy here Down East over the past year that I have truly neglected my blog.
Oh yeah, I posted some pictures here and there.
But I never really had a good conversation...never shared the depth and breadth of my life or debated world issues or the joy of relationships.
Now, There are so many changes under way that I have decided to post with renewed vigor - every day!
So today is devoted to my apology.
When I first moved Down East, I was believing that it was going to be a slower, easier day at work for me. HA HA and HA.
I have never been so busy in my life! It's been a good busy however and I've had so many new adventures. I also discovered I'm a boat whore and will do almost anything to go out on the ocean.

But an old ugly habit reared its head - I tend to let work overtake my life. If I have no plans, I work. If I am lonely, I work.
I fill every hour with scanner traffic, calls for information, research.
This has to stop.
When I went on summer vacation to Cape Cod with BFF Donna, I returned with a promise to stick to a 40-hour week. Most weeks, I am doing well. Some days, I fail miserably. But I'll keep at it!
Also, I made a promise to my daughter go to the doctor about an annoying problem and I did and it has been corrected! Just this little change has brightened my spirits tremendously.
(Okay, all my Goddesses - don't start bombarding me with questions. I will give no answers. I only mention this because I am now happier and more content than I have been in a long time.)

I'm heading into my second winter in Sweet Pea Cabin and I'm really looking forward to it - definitely a shift change for me. I always saw winter as such a burden. Now I'm waiting for that snuggling in feeling and that I have plans for several fall/winter trips helps ease that feeling that winter can be endless.
I'm headed to P'town later this month, Florida in February and likely NYC in March or April.
Winter doesn't scare me - I've instead shifted to a settled feeling.

I have also begun swimming again. I know this is ridiculous but I stopped because my bathing suit kept falling off. Really. It was 12 years old for gawd's sake.
I ordered a new one on-line and it took 8 weeks for it to come!
So it is back into the pool and I'm pleased.

I am finally also coming to grips with being without my best friends from P'town. It has been an extraordinarily difficult transition. I've made a dozen trips back over the past year to visit and have been so fortunate to have several BFF's come up here and visit. But still the shift to spending weeks without my friends......not an easy road,

So, I apologize for being neglectful.
That changes today.