Thursday, September 25, 2008

Balancing things...

Well, last night made up for the misery of the whole previous week. I spent a few hours helping to harvest a commercial vineyard's first crop! The evening was beautiful, we were sipping Blueberry Bliss, a sweet, wonderful wine, and the couple who own the farm are charming and fun. This is the very best part of my job - meeting such lovely and unique people. Thanks to Trudy for pointing me in the direction of this winery....

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Here's what I did this sad when someone loses all their memories like this....This was a family home in Hartland.

Today is my mother's birthday; she would have been 81. I've been having such a delayed
reaction to her death - it has now been three months and 14 days - and it seems that she
occupies so many of my thoughts, so much of the time. I keep remembering so many little
moments, so many missed opportunities. Did I confide in her enough so that she felt a
part of me? Did I let her know often enough how vital her influence was on me, in
creating me and shaping me and making me very much who I am today? Her sense of
humor haunts me. Why cannot I see the lightness in every situation like she did? I used to
call her "Pollyanna" and now I covet that quality the most...

Something will happen, some little nothing, really, like Danny and Amanda will have
me over for dinner and when I get home, the first thing I do is reach for the phone to share
it with her. Every time that happens, it's like I'm hearing my sister tell me - again - that
she's gone. She's gone. I don't know how I will ever get past this and yet I know I will.
Maybe what I want is to NOT get past it because that would mean I really have let her go.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

This is so exciting?!?!?

Finally, a place to communicate, share and just let my thoughts wander. This has been a horrid week - first I had to miss Our Miss Brook's birthday party - I was so sick. And I even had a new outfit! DRATS! Then Emma got attacked by wild ground wasps who hooked onto her face and heinie and wouldn't let go! The entire weekend was saved when Janet, sweet, sweet Janet, brought me soup. How wonderful it felt to be NURSED and PAMPERED....hasn't happened in a long time!