Sunday, September 13, 2009
Oh I know I have been a slacker.....but I have a very good excuse!
I was kidnapped by PIRATES! Avast me hearties, it is true. This scalawag (who, I might add with a sad smirk, looks NOTHING like Johnny Depp) who is clearly impaired by too much rum and a bit of B.O., slung me over his back and whisked me away from all the fun I was having at the Eastport Pirate Festival! It was frightening...it was scary.....it was entirely expected... He offered me silver beads and gold doubloons but I refused. "You shiver me timbers! Away, you dirty buccaneer!'' I said, fighting for my long lost virtue. He wanted me to walk the plank but he forgot where he put it, so, it was off to the stocks for me...
My cries for help were not heard...the wenches were too busy baring their booties and the pirates were all over at the salmon tent gulping down kebobs. Where or where are my rescuers??? Then the fiend of the seas threw me on a big bed and raced me down the Main Street - everyone thought my cries of terror were screams of joy. ARRRGHHH - not true!! Luckily he gave me a helmet...and a life preserver.....
Then, just when I had given up all hope of seeing my loved ones again, who should appear but THE CENTRAL MAINE PRECISION MARCHING LAWN CHAIR DRILL TEAM!!!! (This is where the symphonic music plays.)
There was an amazing struggle but the scalawag and his motley crew were no match for middle aged people armed with webbed aluminum lawn chairs. My long lost virtue intact, my friends whisked me back to the parade, we all took a rest in chairs, and then hit the streets much to the delight of hundreds of people - the cheering was awesome, the compliments were many and we truly felt like heroes.
There was no trophy, no prizes, but since we were the only PRECISION MARCHING LAWN CHAIR DRILL TEAM in the parade, we declared ourselves the winners. Of course we then retired to other fun events and ended with a party in my living room - all my dearest of dearest of dearest friends....it was spectacular!
Here they are: MY 16 HEROS and SHEROS!