Doing a lot of reflecting this week. New year, and all. Since I moved here in June, this was my first major snow storm in Sweet Pea Cabin. It was very snuggly and warm, with the wood stove roaring. And with the long windows on both sides of the living room, I felt absolutely surrounded by swirling snow. I slept in Sunday and that sweetheart Matt was already shoveling out my car and walkway.
It is easy to reflect on having Matt, Faye and Kiley next door. It is an incredible gift.
It is easy to reflect on having a new grandson, Karlin. He is precious.
It is the harder thoughts, thoughts about disappointments and letting go of toxic relationships, setting new goals, challenging myself - these are harder to face and deal with.
No resolutions. I don't keep them.
But I have made some "suggestions" to myself.
I spent much of Sunday cleaning out my office and studio. That's one of my suggestions. A cluttered workspace tends to clutter my mind. I need simple, easy, plain.
I painted a bit - another "suggestion" - give myself more time to paint. I'm working on a special one for my son Russell and his sweetie Taryn. I wasn't happy with it - I think I was trying to hard to paint what I thought THEY would like. Now I've taken control back and I'm painting what my heart says. If they don't like it, they can always hide it under the bed....until I come visit!
Dealing with my weight - of course that is a STRONG suggestion - I struggle every day with this. Now I think I'm getting close to really compromising my health. Somehow I have to find a different way, a different relationship with food. How do you feel satisfied, fulfilled without overdoing it, eating the wrong things, making the same mistakes over and over? All year I said "next week" "next month" "after vacation" and finally "after Christmas.'' Getting more exercise and making good choices were put off time and time again. Taking control isn't easily accomplished, for me. I know I need to change not just what I eat and what I do, but how I FEEL about what I eat and do. This is hard work and I'm still gearing up for it....