Monday, January 4, 2010

reflecting...

Doing a lot of reflecting this week. New year, and all. Since I moved here in June, this was my first major snow storm in Sweet Pea Cabin. It was very snuggly and warm, with the wood stove roaring. And with the long windows on both sides of the living room, I felt absolutely surrounded by swirling snow. I slept in Sunday and that sweetheart Matt was already shoveling out my car and walkway.
It is easy to reflect on having Matt, Faye and Kiley next door. It is an incredible gift.
It is easy to reflect on having a new grandson, Karlin. He is precious.
It is the harder thoughts, thoughts about disappointments and letting go of toxic relationships, setting new goals, challenging myself - these are harder to face and deal with.
No resolutions. I don't keep them.
But I have made some "suggestions" to myself.
I spent much of Sunday cleaning out my office and studio. That's one of my suggestions. A cluttered workspace tends to clutter my mind. I need simple, easy, plain.

I painted a bit - another "suggestion" - give myself more time to paint. I'm working on a special one for my son Russell and his sweetie Taryn. I wasn't happy with it - I think I was trying to hard to paint what I thought THEY would like. Now I've taken control back and I'm painting what my heart says. If they don't like it, they can always hide it under the bed....until I come visit!

Dealing with my weight - of course that is a STRONG suggestion - I struggle every day with this. Now I think I'm getting close to really compromising my health. Somehow I have to find a different way, a different relationship with food. How do you feel satisfied, fulfilled without overdoing it, eating the wrong things, making the same mistakes over and over? All year I said "next week" "next month" "after vacation" and finally "after Christmas.'' Getting more exercise and making good choices were put off time and time again. Taking control isn't easily accomplished, for me. I know I need to change not just what I eat and what I do, but how I FEEL about what I eat and do. This is hard work and I'm still gearing up for it....

5 comments:

Hazel Mitchell said...

Hang on in there Sharon .... forget the eating so much and concentrate on the exercise ... then you won't want to compromise your good work!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the encouragement. Taking control, suggestions not resolutions, weight (I'm with you on that boat, Sharon!) My "suggestions" for this season are to be happier, and concentrate on the positives. And it sounds like that is what you are doing too. Thanks again! Julie Dow

Fearless Nester said...

I like the part where you felt surrounded by swirling snow . . . would love to have more windows to feel that effect. And I did sort of make a resolution to get control of my weight...more like a strong suggestion because right now I'm sitting here eating pizza. Happy New Year Sharon!

Trudy said...

Your perspective on resolutions is so gentle. I love that.

Country Girl said...

This time of year in Maine is hard to get motivated. I struggle too. I did the on-line weight watchers last year and I found that helpful. I still use it as a guide when I try to be good, have been naughty as of lately!