Hello. My name is Anthony the Awful. And Yes, I am sitting right inside your bird feeder.
I dazzle you with my good looks - my big brown eyes. My cute little hands. My big bushy tail.
And then I attack.
I tear apart your bird feeders, ripping the plastic apart like it was a Vanilla Wafer.
I fight with my brothers, banging off the side of the house as I drive your dog to distraction, and I knock everything down.
What? You think tapping on the window will drive me out of the flat bird feeder?
HA and another HA
I'm not afraid of you, you silly woman.
After all, I am Super Squirrel. Leader of the Pack. King of the bird food station. I laugh at your attempts to feed the stupid little chickadees, or the sad little mourning doves, and even the noisy bluejays.
You can't stop me. I am an eating machine. And I'm here to stay.
Now get your ass out here and fill this feeder back up. And bring a couple of those apples too.