Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Is this the Twilight Zone or a Zombie Electrical Force Field?

Something beyond weird is happening here at The Mansion. VERY WEIRD! I think I've fallen into an electrical black hole. The only other explanation is ghosts and we are NOT going to go there...

Anyway, the current (tee hee) problem began last night when my police scanner went cuckoo. Of the 40 available scanner channels, it completely cleared 20 of them. Just dropped them, eliminated them, zeroed them out. WTF? I asked the scanner. It's a few years old and it runs 24/7 so I thought, oops, time for a new scanner, plus it never answered me about what its problem was.
Then my cell phones started acting up. Conversations were being cut off mid-sentence. Reception was horrible. My bff Trudy said I sounded like I was in a wind tunnel or on fire. I started wandering around The Mansion to find the best reception - which curiously is by sitting comfortably on the couch, with my feet on the coffee table and a cold drink in my right hand, while holding my phone in my left with my head cushioned by a lovely pillow.
But then I went to bed.
I set my alarm - on my cell phone - and went to sleep.
About an hour later, my cell phone woke me and it was completely POSSESSED!
It was raising and lowering the volume lickety split ALL BY ITSELF!
It was connecting to the Internet ALL BY ITSELF!
It was beeping, and pinging and making all kinds of bell sounds ALL BY ITSELF!
None of the buttons would respond. I was POWERLESS or OVERpowered - I'm not sure which. I took the battery out three times before it would begin working correctly.
What is going on?
I'm afraid to use the hair dryer, or turn on the bathroom fan, and don't even get me started on the dangers that may be lurking in the automatic ice maker. I think I even have a lot more static cling going on than usual. Is everything in The Mansion that is powered by electricity suddenly going to go all Stephen King-ish on me?

By the way, I've met Stephen King. He used to come to the basketball games at my kids' high school. He's a really nice man and everyone just left him alone to eat popcorn, cheer and enjoy the game.

Back to the voltage situation, any ideas out there for what is going on? Suggestions for a cleansing or exorcism? Oh, I once bought a house where a man had been murdered in the kitchen and my ex had the minister come and bless the house before we moved in. I used to drive him crazy - the ex, not the minister - by saying, very loudly, "Excuse me Bill" and stepping high over where the body had landed....drove him nuts, I tell ya.

Maybe I need to hold a prayer circle in here...

OMG - I thought the electric villians just got my laptop but I realized I hadn't pushed the power source in all the way and the battery was dying......creeeeeeeepy.


Anonymous said...

Could it be the Mercury is in retrograde? I mean that has a tendency to mess up my electrical appliances and make my hair just a tad big more frizzie (bwhaaa talk about understatement) and it even has effects o gamma rays. Or could it be sun spots? No not the ones on my face the ones on the actual sun.

Libby's Library said...

I'm a little afraid to leave a comment - it's not catching is it?

writtenwyrdd said...

Sounds very strange. I am not sure how I landed on your blog but I like your sense of humor!

writtenwyrdd said...

PS I have a ghost in the house and we get along fine. But the electrical? Burn sage, sprinkle salt water and sing religious tunes???

Dawn Fortune said...

Sounds like you need to host a UU cleansing ceremony - a potluck. Paper plates, plastic utensils, everyone brings home what they brought in, and overwhelm the electrical goblins with happy karma.

A Spot of T said...

I'm totally side-tracked that you met Stephen King??? I would have been the person making sure I sat right behind him at a game. And then right beside him. And then standing next to him. Which means I would have been the person they called security on!